Coming Out

I'm going to put a tiny warning out there for self injury. Don't look at the image if you want to avoid that.

Well, I'm back. Again. And it's not like I've been doing much; just reading (I started Sabriel and intend to finish as soon as I can get another good), and watching Star Trek. I also went to a book trivia question. More on that later.

Aside from my nerdy ventures, I did something that I thought was a risky move.

I came out to my mom.


"Yes, Espen, I already knew."
"So you're like Shiloh [Jolie-Pitt]. That's cool."

She also said that I'm "far easier to shop for than a teenage girl." While that may have been admittedly sexist, it's a step forward in acknowledging me.

I worked up the courage to do this after taking several steps to recover from a three-year long depression. And I'm not that person to say "just pull yourself out of it," because it's hard, probably the hardest thing you'll ever do. Some people just need to be kind to themselves, but I'm not one of those people. I needed to take initiative.

So I did a series of things that I've never done before. Keep in mind that I am naturally very introverted and anxious (I was also diagnosed with ASD, which doesn't help). I found out that my mom is very accepting of gay people; I have a lesbian friend and a bi friend who are a couple (they're both girls, if you hadn't figured that out) and my mom was cooing over them. She still thinks they're "such a cute couple" and thinks their constant hand-holding is adorable.

Anyway, one of these things was coming out, and it went well. I now know that my mom accepts me and is willing to learn, even (first lesson was don't call people 'it'). I know my dad won't be accepting. It's funny, though, how nearly two decades ago he thought he was having a daughter but ended up with two nerds sons (step-brother and I).

But that's not the best part. See, I had a competition at five that day, which was basically just a book trivia game where we lost by a single point in the last round. I was not incredibly happy with that, being team captain, but the whole competition was friendly and fun; we were like a little family. We shook hands with and congratulated one another.

As team captain, I did most of the hand-shaking. I always do this, anyway, after any competition. I had finished shaking hands with the winning team and moved on to our fellow losers (there were three teams) and I'm shaking hands with a girl when she leans close and says, "Are you a trans boy?"

I was a bit stunned. It turns out that she's a trans girl and she gave me her blog url. It's amazing, though. I know, obviously, that there are other people like me, but it's so serendipitous that I come out and meet a fellow trans person in the same day. Also, we live in a very conservative place that...well, sort of hates us.

This was all incredibly unexpected and I thought I'd share.
May 23rd, 2015 at 06:14am