About My Stories: Breathe

At long last, here is the first in a series of posts about my stories, starting with the oldest story I have up: my so-called-'songfic,' "Breathe."

Now, it almost seems like it’s the first story I ever posted here, going by the dates on it. It’s about the time I would have joined. And when I think about it, it sounds like that would be right. But I can’t say if for sure that it was first. Honestly, I don’t remember which one it was. From that time up to a few years ago, I’ve posted a few different ones, and I’ve forgotten which one in that slew was first. So it very well could have been first, and it very well could have not been.

In addition to not remembering that part of it, I also can’t remember a whole lot about this story anymore. As I said, it was a while ago now, about four years ago. And a lot has happened since then. There’s only little bits and pieces on it left in the back of my brain. But there is one thing I do know for certain, and it's that this story has survived me the longest on here. A lot of other stories (published and unpublished) have come and gone. But aside from some edits a while ago, I’ve hardly touched this one. So it is kinda special to me.

The title and inspiration for it is the song, "Breathe (2 AM)," by Anna Nalick. If you don't know or don't remember what song I'm talking about, let me just remind you (or show you) real quick:



It's one of those story-telling songs like I love, and so-many years ago, I was obsessed with. My little writer brain later concluded that it I should try writing a story based on the song. So I did.

Okay, now this is where my memory starts to leave off; I don't remember a lot about the writing process for it. But I do recall how (at least to me) I was vague about a topic in it—the one mentioned in the first part of the song—as I wasn't sure writing about it. See, according to the page on Songfacts.com (a site I usually consider a good source for information), the first verse talks about the singer going somewhere with a friend, who was going to have an abortion. But both back then and (even more so) now, I did't (and don’t) feel that the lyrics exactly fit this.

Maybe this is due to the fact my brain will often overanalyze things, but I think the lyrics are vaguer than what is commonly accepted. I don't think that's necessarily where she was, or what was happening. I don’t see how it could be limited down to just that from the lyrics, which never explicitly mention where they are, or why they were there. Nalick could have said something later in an interview, but I have looked, and I found nothing straight from her that says this is the story. So until I see or hear something on it, something that is absolutely said by her, I'm keeping a wider perspective on the lyrics.

And it was this view that I tried to make that come through in the story. Yet, at the same time, I'll admit that I also tried to keep the commonly-accepted storyline going, as I hadn’t done much research on the song yet, and I don’t think I was able to come up with a better one at the time. But when both of those goals combined, I think something got lost in translation. I ended up going back over time to edit it at bit, partially because of this.

But despite all that, I still got some nice comments on it. (And since I don't think I ever said it: Thank you to all those who commented!) So I guess that I must have done something right.
Now let's see, what else did I have to say?

Oh, right. There is one other thing I remember about the writing process. I actually pretty much wrote it just for Mibba. I can't totally remember why, but I know that I wrote it with the intent to post it here. So I could have something up, I think. I was also proud of it when it was done, and looking at it again, I still kinda am. It's actually not terrible (though that may be from that later editing, which was also fixing errors), and much more detailed than I originally thought.

Still, as I look at it now, I wonder if I truly want to keep it up anymore. Sure, it’s special to me, but now it's like it's not what I want people to see from me on here. I've done so much fixing up & revamping lately on here, and it's almost like it's not fitting in now. But then at the same time, I feel like it would be wrong if I took it down, and that I'd regret it. I also like seeing the dates on it (reminder of how long I've been here, especially since it’s the oldest thing I can find a date on), and that it's like a bit of contrast with the newer works, that lets me and other people to see how far I've come with my writing.

Then again, I don’t need to keep the whole thing up to see the dates. And do I really want people to see that point in my writing anymore?

Oh well. Before I get totally off-topic and stuck on the subject, I’ll stop here. I can say that right now, I don't know how much longer it will be up. But none the less, I wanted to write about it, and now I have.

Now, I know that I could also rewrite “Breathe.” And a while ago, I started to. I think it was around when I first started trying to fix things up. I was going to remove most of the lyrics, and flesh out the original story bits more. But, I've had so many other stories to work on, and so many other things I have going in life, that's never come to be. I worked on it all of one or two times, and now it won't ever be finished, I've decided. Like all those other stories that I've abandoned, it's time to move on. I have other things to do, other pieces to work on. It's best to just keep it as it is, and have it as an example of my past work. One that will be up on Mibba for people to see, at least for now.

…And that’s all I have for now. See you next post.

~ S

P.S. – If I do decided to take "Breathe" down, I'll edit this to say so.