Not the Best Day

The amount of times I've tried to write this blog, and then just deleted everything is ridiculous. But I set myself a goal, to blog for an entire year, and I really don't want to miss a day just because I'm not having a good one.

Part of me finds it hard to say any of this because of just how personal it is to me. The other part of me, the part that wants to share it, wants to make sure that the words are perfect.

It's been two months since I officially ended things with my ex. At the end of next month, we would have been together for five years. We still talk quite often, and I know we both have our days. Just the other night he messaged me saying that he was really missing me.

He wants me to come up and watch a movie with him before the new Star Wars movie comes out. I told him that I don't think it's a good idea, that I'm really not ready. Because the feelings are still there, the want to kiss him, the want to spend an entire night in his arms, the want to just be with him forever.

I remember hearing a saying that you always love your first love. I never understood it before, but now I can truly say that I do.

I'm sorry that this blog is such a downer, tomorrow I have PT, so you'll definitely have an update of that.

I hope everyone has had a good day.