The Soundtrack of My Life-Part 2-Shut up and Dance (Part 1)

I was wearing a crop top and short shorts.....actually lets back up a little bit......

I had been over at my friends house, he was one of those friends who you made out with at a party of another friend while you were belligerently drunk and now he had a big crush on you and you just wanted to be his friend, and this friend threw the best parties, lets call him Party House, but he also invited you over to just hang out every once in a while, as a bro, and play video games or watch family guy or something.

Well that night was one of those hang out night where it was just the usual crew, except every once in while some randoms would stop by because his roommate was also the Pot Guy, this was one of those nights.

I was sitting there watching Dogma when Pot Guy opens the door and in walks this pretty redheaded girl and this really good looking Blonde Dude. I mean jeez he was really nice to look at. At that time In my life I was in a transitional phase, I had just gotten out of the longest relationship I'd ever had, which I'd gotten guilt-tripped into by friends who said I never dated "nice guys" that I was vain, that I needed to date someone for their personality for once.

So I dated Nice Guy for two years! He was a great guy! Amazing human being with a giant heart.....but he wasn't that attractive, I mean he wasn't ugly, definitely not ugly, and he had beautiful blue eyes, but to me he was just 'okay.' SIDE NOTE: Don't ever date someone you think is just 'okay' its cruel and they deserve better. END SIDENOTE: I liked him though so the looks stopped really bothering me, I was starting to think 'man my friend was right I should have dated nice guys this whole time' but then we went public with it......

I didn't really give a shit when people questioned why the hell I was dating him but then he introduced me to his friends and coworkers and their unanimous response was "How much are you paying her to say she's your girlfriend?" "Why the hell are you with him?" "How'd he talk you into this?" And I just laughed, like 'ha! this is good fun. They're just giving him a hard time'

Well he took it to heart, and started being crazy jealous, and really controlling, and totally insecure. And I justified it to myself "His Ex cheated on him, I'm a loyal girlfriend, if I just give it time he'll see that." But before I knew it I wasn't allowed to delete the texts on my phone because he would freak out and say I was texting some guy. Anytime we hung out I found myself automatically handing my phone over so that he could look through all my messages then giving him the password to my Facebook so he could look through that.

AND STILL I justified it to myself, "I have nothing to hide, it doesn't matter If he looks through my texts or FB messages." But it chipped little pieces of my soul away. Six months into the relationship I found myself still saying "His Ex cheated, He'll see I'm loyal and all this will stop soon."

At that point I could no longer have guy friends, I wasn't allowed to drink alcohol, I wasn't allowed to dance. I had been a free spirit when he met me, the majority of my friends were guys, I was the life of the party....but by then I couldn't have guy friends and I wasn't allowed to go to parties.

Now a lot of you might think, man this girl is a joke, she shoulda just done what she wanted.....well remember I was trying to prove that I was a loyal girlfriend that he had nothing to fear because in my fairytale thought process once he realized that he'd come with me to parties, he'd let me talk to my guy friends without freaking out or thinking I was cheating.

So two years go by and I graduate High school and I get accepted into this summer internship program that would give me a scholarship for college, which I really needed because my family was poor and they weren't going to help me pay for college. The program was a live on campus research program thing, and when I was there it was work work work from around 8 in the morning to around 8 at night, and then we would all play games or just hang out. I remembered what it felt like to be free again to be part of the joy, to be able to joke and sit next a guy without being scared that Nice Guy might see it as me flirting.

Nice Guy would call be 6 or 7 times a day but the research program was pretty time consuming and I'd only be able to call right before bed, but there were nights where I was too tired to call and as soon as my head hit the pillow I would be out like a light. As you probably guessed already he didn't like that, not one bit. He said I was being inconsiderate that I wasn't replying to as many of his texts or calls as I should have been......And it began to annoy me that he couldn't trust me while I was doing something that would further my education.

So then the school year began! My first year of College!! I wanted to be involved! I wanted to meet people! I still needed more money for school!!!! SOOOO I decided to run for Miss Hispanic, I knew I could win, I had the communication skills, intelligence, and appearance to beat the other girls. I could feel that the crown and scholarship money were going to be mine! At that time I had also joined a forensics research team at my school and was conducting research on bees.

So I tell Nice Guy "Hey I got accepted into the research program and also I'm running for Miss Hispanic because I think I'll win." I expected excitement, support, joy.....all I got was, "You're spreading yourself to thin, if you're doing all those things how are you ever going to have time for me. You need to drop something."

I felt a pang in my chest and we decided to talk about it the next day, that night I had a study group with Cute guy and Pretty Girl in my chemistry class and after we got done studying we watched Netflix. After they left I put the movie we'd been watching back on and finished it. The next morning I got a call from Nice Guy, "So when did they leave last night?" So I told him the whole story about my night and how they left around midnight.

This is what he says, "Oh really? Because on the Netflix time log it says that you were watching that movie until 2 AM."

I was appalled! I didn't even know you could see what time people watched something on Netflix!! I realized this was never going to stop! He was crazy!

So I said, "You know babe you were right earlier when you said I didn't have enough time for everything, I do need to drop something...YOU!" And I hung up the phone

(*APPLAUSE*)