Things Do Happen for a Reason

Things DO happen for a reason

Okay, Im 20 years old and a lot has happened to me that most people probably wouldnt go through if they were 40. Ive grown up around a family that makes me believe things happen in life for a reason, they believe in fate... I know so many people who dont believe in that tosh and just think life is life, but I dont, I believe in all this fate lark, I believe in Karma, I believe that things do happen for a reason.
Mum believed in it because of what she has experienced, she had an easy upbringing in comparison to me, but she had a tough time with my dad, she was always working hard and not really moving up the ladder but now its paying off and to come home and see my mum happy makes me happy.

Shes not a very good example but I am.
So many things make me believe that you go through literal hell to realise and appreciate it more when something beautiful happens.
When I was young my parents split up, they dont get on, so Ive never really had a family. I started playing football aswell, I was good, people would talk about me and would recognise me and I would be known for being the loud gobby good keeper, life was tough but then I got the chance to play professionally for Exeter in the YTS, we played good teams like Swansea and Bristol City and I would have played Chelsea and Manchester United if the weather didnt take them away from me. I got released and injury hit me and I stopped playing, moral of the story is that I probably could never play football again seriously because my ankles and knees simply cant hack it. And in my mind there was a reason for this.

The first things that made me believe in so called "fate" was meeting my first girlfriend, I had been through so much at that point in my life, my mum had left, I was practically living on my own in a house seeing my dad now and again, it was tough but it was good character building, I was mentally unstoppable and I was around 17 years old.
I met Jodie and we clicked, I felt like all the crap I had gone through had lead me to appreciate how good the relationship was and how happy I had become, not to mention the sex that was absolutely out of this world, nothing has come close to that and in my next relationship I will make sure it will.
After a while Jodie broke up with me, it killed me, probably more than my latest break up, I had no job so I was there almost everyday in tears doing nothing, it wasnt nice. College saved me, it made me appreciate being in a class full of my best mates, that year at college was the best, it was incredible being with guys like that who could make you laugh non stop.
Then I got a nice little job to get some money together to fund a car, then I got the car I wanted which was a little fiat punto, which was crap, but for some working class guy like me was a good start.
Then the car got a mixture of damages with gearbox failure and other things, cost me and my mum a bomb.
That summer was the best summer, it was the last proper summer I had down there and thinking back on it is amazing, I had no job, I was physically immaculate, I had money in the bank, I had a car, I had friends, the only thing missing was a girl and regular sex! All the turmoil I had in my childhood seemed to be paying off because I was having such a good time.
Moving away from home was tough, but at the same time I did it for a reason and that was for free university, I have friends back home paying £15,000 a year for acommodation and uni fees, where here I am if anything in profit from University. Its a crazy world and I feel very lucky.

I met a nice girl, we got on, she was a bit of an oddball bipolar mess, but she was nice, she was my best friend aswell and after she broke up with me it tore me apart, I didnt quite know what to do and I could feel my heart breaking, at one point I was put on strong drugs and was going to go hospital about my heart pains, it was horrible.... I can now look back and think yeah, that was the best thing that could have happened. Things, memories and certain songs bring memories back that make me sad and upset, because how it ended was wrong and it could have been fixed and thats a fact, but this has happened for a reason.

I worked my socks off over christmas and new years, and after a lot of saving I found the perfect car, its everything I wanted, people get in and are like wow.. How have you done this? Youre 20, you dont have rich parents, you dont earn lots of money... Facts are I work hard when I need to and save. It paid off because now I usually turn heads when people hear I have a 2.2 litre turbo diesel at the age of 20.
Im in an extremely secure job that give me time off to see friends and go home, and Ive had the best summer Ive ever had, its been the best. And compare it to if I was still with her, it would be awful, it would be lonely, depressing, terrible sex, im so glad in a way its over and its led me here.

After being through all this I believe things happen for a reason, I believe now in the future if I meet someone again I know whats important in a relationship where as before I didnt really... Balance between you both is everything, and we never had that, I always trusted her and loved her so that wasnt a problem, the balance was gone. And Ive been through so much pain now I dont really think I deserve to be happy so when someone does pop along and make me happy Im not quite sure what will happen.
Im old fashioned, I want to spoil them, I want to give them the world and see them smile forever.

Things are leading up to something but im not quite sure what.... I feel something big is going to pop up in the near future whether it be career or relationship related and I dont know if Im ready just yet for it..