After the Pause

"And now, the exhale. Then quiet: only birdsong and the wind in the leaves." - Neil Gaiman

My father-in-law passed away early this morning. There's a sense of relief--knowing he's not helpless and in pain anymore, knowing the wait is over, knowing this long saga of illness and injury is done.

And there's pain. My father-in-law is survived by his wife, one of the strongest people I know, and his three kids who were only 27, 20, and 17. It doesn't seem right that people so young, especially my husband's young siblings, should lose their father. Everyone is struggling to keep it together. 4:00 this morning when my brother-in-law called, my husband said that's the only time since very early in childhood that he can ever remember his brother crying.

My sister-in-law made a very eloquent and touching Facebook post.

I woke up this morning, inexplicably, reciting the phrase, "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past." I'm not sure why that line is in my head or why or whether it fits.

My husband and I are going to probably be leaving on an impromptu trip to Ohio in a couple hours.