This summer has been a good summer, its been probably the second best summer Ive had behind the summer of 2013, and both summers Ive been single... Coincidence? I just think having a girlfriend takes focus away from the fun I want to have. I love my friends more than anything in the world, so being able to spend a lot of time with them this summer has made me happy, I have dozens of friends back home and a handful of friends that I believe I will be friends with for a lifetime, and not many people can say that.
Tasmin came up to see me last week after gaining permission from her boyfriend, she slept in my sisters room and we had a good 5 days of exploring and eating, twas good to see her.
I always miss my home, there isnt a day goes by that I dont wish I was back home sat at a table with my friends... I just feel things happen for a reason and there is a reason that all my friends are back down there and here I am, 650 miles away from them... I have a good couple of friends up here, especially Dan, but they arent childhood friends you know?
Good news is that Im off to New York for Christmas, New Years and my 21st Birthday.... I booked my flights last month for a mere £680 without a moments hesitation, and I believe its going to be the best 2 weeks yet. I will be staying with Jack in student halls and hes someone who I get on with better than anyone because we are practically the same person. We are going to get each other christmas presents and ive already told him that as long as he buys me a few drinks and dinner on my birthday I will be happy!
The fact that Jack is out there alone was a big factor in me going out, I dont want any of my friends alone for Christmas and New Years, but the fact its a chance to visit New York and especially for my 21st birthday is something that not everyone can say they are going to do....
Its also going to be the first festive period away from home, which I dont really know how to feel about, Im not too bothered about it because Ive always been away from one parent, being away from both and my whole family will be weird but Im old enough to not really give a monkeys about it.
Going to New York at this time means I have to go home at some point, and Ive told my Dad I will be home in November AND February to see him, and I already cant wait to be back, and 2 months will fly by aswell... On top of all of this Im going to a gig in Aberdeen in November aswell as going to a gig in December in Manchester with another close friend from back home, there is a lot to look forward to.
My last break up which is nearly around 9 month ago now has taught me something and that is to always try to enjoy life and live life to the full... if you died tomorrow would you look back and say youve had the best life you could have? When I was with Amy I was constantly miserable, now I try and plan things as often as I can to keep that enjoyment in life, and its nice, its good, it makes me happy.
I honestly dont have a clue about the long term future though, and its the first time in my life Ive been like it... Ive always had an idea of where Im going to be, but now Im not sure, I dont have a clue, I know I will be successful and have a good career because my drive, ambition and knowledge is the best, but what Im going to be doing and where Im going to be I have no idea... I dont want to be in Aberdeen and I know I cant be successful back home, so I dont know. America is becoming a possibility because of Jack, and weve already had talks about starting business, and doing it over in America together is something that I can only dream of, but as time moves on slowly it does start to become a bit realistic, because I think one day Im going to wake up and think "Just do it", because I always do weird spontaneous crazy things.
Things are ok at the moment though, Im working a fair bit racking up money, Im physically in top shape, mentally I struggle but I think anyone in my position would, being away from home is NEVER easy and you just get on with it, anyone else would say the same.
I didnt get a placement at University, but in hindsight I think it might turn out to be a blessing in disguise, almost everyone I know didnt get a placement and I have high hopes for this year at Uni, I think it could be a lot of fun and I think something good might happen this year....
Nothing in my life is bad, and nothing is my life is outstandingly good, Im just going with the flow at the moment and its frustrating because Im somebody who always wants to be moving forward... Fair enough, since the break up with Amy I have come a ridiculously long way, where as she is no doubt staying where she is or even going backwards, I have grown and learnt so much and have matured in to someone I feel I can be happy with. For the first time in around 18 months I am happy to do nothing and I am happy with my own company and its a nice place to be at.
Girl wise I dont know, theres an awful lot of girls at the moment that I have interest in and vice versa, and I dunno, its effort aint it?
Im back to the old me... I will only be with someone if she is the most incredible girl in the world, and that will never change.
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