Day Three: What Qualities Do You Admire About Yourself? What Are Some Things You'd Like to Improve?

I don't know if there's a quality that I admire about myself. I have always felt rather like a perpetual fuck up, because it seems like no matter what I do, it's wrong. But I know what I want to improve on. It took me eight long years to realize just how badly I suffered from depression. For a long time, I thought I'd grown out of it or gotten over it, but I realized recently that I haven't, and I'm finally ready to admit it. I'm finally ready to understand that I need help, that I can't do it alone, and I'm also finally ready to get the help I need. For a long time, I've known that I was depressed. But I always saw it as my greatest weakness. I saw it as a weakness that I couldn't be as strong as the rest of the world, so I hid it. I've mentioned it in my writing, I've talked about grim topics, but I've never gotten help for it. I want to get help for it. I want to feel... the way a normal person should be feeling. I want to know why I suffer so deeply for things that were never my fault, why I blame myself for everything, why I feel like I was never and never will be good enough. I want to fix myself, instead of denying the problem.