Dear Diary- Day 4

What’s stressing you out in your life right now?

This is actually out of order, but I don't care. I need to blog about my stressors. It's just something I have to do. Somehow, putting it all out there, then letting it go, and logging out reduces the amount of stress I feel.

I had a doctor appointment today and I have one tomorrow. Today was regarding my mental health. They've been messing with different types of medicines and doses for me for a while and I think finally...FINALLY...I found a drug that I'm happy with. Today I'm to increase the dose, then once again in two weeks. The stress? I cannot sleep the night before I have to go anywhere. I just can't and I am on sleeping pills (prescribed ones) and antianxiety ones as well. My mind won't turn off. The brain is a powerful thing, even medicine won't kick it's ass when it doesn't want to be kicked.

My appointment for tomorrow is about my health. I have stage 3 kidney disease and there is some concern they're not working so well right now. My previous doctor left the clinic I go to and this is the first time I'll meet this doctor. Stressing about that too.

Another thing I'm dealing with is that I'm totally withdrawing from everyone and everything. I feel numb. I guess that's better than having emotions running all over the place.

XX