Jitters

Since classes started up again, I've been feeling this almost gnawing anxiety within the depths of my brain, and it's honestly annoying. I want to be able to experience my last year of high school without any sort of nervousness... Last year was dreadful for that. However, I think one of my problems revolves around how fucking tired I am almost all the time now. I felt like an actual corpse today, I could barely stay awake. I really, really hope I don't spiral into the pattern I had last year: always tired, never getting enough sleep. Last year, I could literally sleep for thirteen hours and still feel zapped. But then again, my other problem was how hectic my schedule was, I'd get maybe six hours of sleep a night.

Anyway, I've been drained in other areas of life as well. For instance, I have not been able to produce a single decent story in close to six months now. I can't seem to force my little hands to pen a tale of amazement. It's honestly fucking scary, on account of the fact I eventually want to be a published writer of sorts... My dream since childhood was to become some established author who was eventually on the Best Seller's List. But now, I feel as if I've lost that dream, I no longer have the writing bug. I don't get ideas anymore, I don't get excited. Everything I've been writing feels fucking fake. So, so calculated and fake.

But besides that, how has everyone been?
September 22nd, 2015 at 03:55am