Dear Diary| Entry 4

Warning: this blog touches base on a sensitive subject(s); sexual assault, rape.

I’m just going to come out extremely blunt, something which touches a serious spot for me is rape.
The act of forcing one to engage in sexual activity against their will and consent.

At first, I was ashamed and disgusted at myself to even mouth the word, but now I’m not. I no longer feel ashamed because I have nothing to be ashamed about. Neither do you.

I was raped.
Earlier this summer, around June, actually the first week of June to be exact, I was raped by who I thought at the time was a “friend”. At the time, I even thought there could be a slight possibility of more.

Although I no longer feel ashamed about what happened to me, I still have not reached the point of being able to recount verbatim what happened. I’d rather not break down at my computer, y’know.

But I want to share with you, that whether you were raped, or assaulted or harassed, you, my sweet, sweet darling should have nothing to hide or feel guilty about. What they did to you was not ok, it was not your fault, you were not asking for it, your clothes had nothing to do with it. Despite what anyone says, none of those things factor into what happened to you.

Do you know where the blame is supposed to be pointed at?

The sick individual who did that to you—that’s who. The person who made you feel scared, and confused, and at the time disgusting. The person who violated you—that’s who. Not you darling, not you.

Rape is never ok.
Someone touching you without your consent is never ok.
Someone trying to make you feel guilty for not agreeing to whatever sexual or intimate act they want you to do, is never ok.

It is your body, every nook and cranny and beautiful part is your body.

No one ever has the right to take that control away.

But, if you’re like me, and someone did take away that control, know you are never alone.
Know you are beautiful.
Know you have so much more to give and to offer.
Know you are loved. (I love you)
Know you are special.

Know you are a survivor.

Toodles for now