I'm Very Much Not Okay.

I'm very much not okay.

Someone who I would like to consider a friend of mine, died just over a week ago.
She was honestly one of the most beautiful people I know and equally as nice.

She was killed instantly in a car accident.

I can't remember a time where she said anything bad about anyone. She's of the best people I know. Shes amazingly talented too. Shes an amazing singer, super good at sports, and she acted as Princess Anna for her job.

It seems like such a waste to have someone like her die so young. She hadn't even turned 20 yet. Shes one of those people who you just know is going somewhere.

I don't have anything bad to say about her.

She had an open casket wake.
It hurt me to see her like that.
She didn't look like her.
She looked like a wax figure that was off.
I didn't even think it was really her until I saw her hands.
They were the only things that looked real.

I almost wish I didn't go to the wake. That way I wouldn't remember her lying there.
I could remember her as the vibrant person she was before all of this.
I could just remember how excited she got at softball practices.
I could just remember how she was always smiling.
I could continue to watch her life progress through facebook and high school reunions.

Alana, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm so sorry that we never truly became friends. But I hope you know that I've always thought of you as a pretty amazing person. Rest easy, I hope you keep singing wherever you are.