I'm a Cheater.

I cheated on my boyfriend because I'm bored with him. I'm kind of a horrible person. It's worse because I want to break up with him, but I can't because I'm too scared of breaking his fucking heart. This boy worships me. He's told my friends and his friends that I'm perfect in every way, and that he loves me so much. We met on Tinder. TINDER. I wish he would've realized what I was there for. Meaningless sex. I just really wish that I'd said no when he asked me out. I knew this was going to happen. It always happens, except I normally just break up and skip the whole feeling bad part, but fuck. He fucking loves me. I missed the sex too much. I missed my old boys. I missed Jason, tearing me open and sighing afterwords because he's a fucking muscular softy who likes to act tough. I missed Scott being inexperienced and trying desperately to please me. I missed Dustin being crass and honest. I missed Chris giving me complements while I was bent over his bed. I missed Justin always finishing too early and apologizing. I miss being the other Chris' booty call. I miss car sex with PJ. I miss Samantha on the beach. I miss Britney by the pool. I miss Jacob going down on me right on top of his boss' fucking desk. I missed being able to go after whoever I saw, because I always get my way. I'm fucking gorgeous, and I hate myself for being tied down. Fuck everything, I can't even take it. I'm sad and stressed and mad at myself for having drunk sex with Tyler last night, but happy because Tyler's really attractive. Seriously just fuck everything I'm so done. I have to end it, but I've let this shit go too far already. Fuck me, I don't know what to do.