1. I hate you. I love you with every fiber of my being to the point where it hurts and your voice is like my oxygen. But I also hate you a little.
2. You are the epitome of everything I despise about men and the world. You love sports, you know everything about cars, you're a wise ass, you're a republican, you hate vegetarians and feminists. You believe in marriage. You get along with my father--I hate how well you get along with my father
3. You are everything I've ever hoped for in a partner. You're brilliantly smart, incredibly handsome, good in bed, a true gentleman, you get along with my father. You might actually want to marry me someday.
4. You obsess over school. Your academic record is flawless yet you distress me and mine because you have to be perfect. I can't be nice after three all nighters.
5. You take care of me when I'm drunk even when I don't want you to. Sometimes I get drunk to piss you off, or get you to fuck me. Please push me up against a wall and rip my clothing off with your teeth.
6. When I text you that I miss you at two in the morning it means I need you.
7. When you don't text back but I see you post all over Facebook it makes me homicidal.
8. You are the reason I chose to stay last summer after I told everyone that I gave up. I had plans to move across the country and swear off men and relationships and then you showed up and stole my heart and tried to turn me into a lady.
9. No matter what you are not the person I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. He's never coming back, and you are essentially his replacement. But for what its worth I love you more than him.
10. I want it to be ten years from now and be with you and we have a dog and kids and stable jobs and a house and all of the things I was supposed to have with someone else who turned out to be a waste of time.
11. I hate you and I'll fight with you and accuse you of not loving me even though I know you do. We love each other with an intensity that is indescribable. But part of me still hates you and I know you hate me too.
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