Sometimes, I read the drabbles I've written and think, "Wow. I can't believe I wrote something like this." It might seem off-putting at first, I felt bad thinking about it. But I realized that telling myself that I'm a pretty good writer means a lot. It boosts my self-esteem so much, I can't even describe it in words.
Around two years ago, when my grandma died, I completely lost the will to write. From then on, it was downhill. I was depressed and no words seemed to come out of my pen. Because I was depressed to write, I turned to reading instead. That proved to be a futile cause since I was so picky. I'm so nit-picky with grammatical errors and formatting (because it's part of the story guidelines). When I don't like the piece that I'm reading, I turn to the grammar or if not, I usually try to suggest things to make it better. As much as possible, when I commented on stories before, I was as blunt as I possibly can without - in my opinion - coming off as rude in any way. If I didn't get the meaning of the story, I'll say that I didn't get it and I'll state the reasons why. If I say I'm confused, I'll state why. And because of this bluntness, I got flamed. Then it got to the point where one even flamed my story. Honestly, I don't really understand why they perceived it as rude because to me, they are just words on my screen. It's criticism and face it, not everyone's gonna like the story. But at least, I'm not saying that your story is trash. I'm saying that it can be better if you work on it. If I put smilies, it's gonna look condescending (in my opinion). I can't suggest most of the time also. I point out the things I see and I suggest a few - very few - ways to fix it. Who am I to dictate how you should write your story? I'm merely suggesting something that can attribute to the betterment of it. You don't have to take it. That's just my principle.
What really confused me back then is that they asked for it. I offered to comment and they accepted. I already get enough shit in reality and sometimes as a staff member. And the Mibba community was a place that I thought highly of (you're still the number one for me, Mibbs). But yeah, I was wrong. That was the reason why I retreated back to silent reading.
It was only recently when I wrote again. I thought that if I can't write long chapters well, why not start out small? I joined that ABC drabble challenge and started writing drabbles. Since then, I practiced writing on the spot but it's hard when there's no inspiration. Sometimes, the prompt is just meh and you can't really do anything about it because you just don't feel like writing. But there are times that even if the prompt is meh, you can still write something. It's just not up to par as to when you're inspired to write.
I'm just blabbing now but Mibba, it's okay to tell yourself that you're a good writer. You may think that it doesn't do anything but when your self-esteem as a writer drops to negative degrees, don't expect happy times. It's literally the worst thing that has happened to me. So now, I tend to re-read my works because I'm just so fucking proud of them. They're like my babies - my pride and joy, you know? These drabbles are like a part of me already. I surprise myself with what I write and I just - I can't believe I can write again.
Anyway, that's just what I wanted to say to all of you. I hope I didn't bore you guys to death.
Don't forget to follow the story guidelines, guys
Yep. I'm gonna go study now.