Break-Ups (How Do I Deal With This?)

I've only ever been in one relationship in my life. I didn't have a great childhood and never really trusted anyone, so I just avoided relationships. Until 2 and a half years ago when I got into a relationship. I've known Aaron for almost 8 years, we met when he was in grade 8 and I was in grade 9, and we talked almost every for the last 5 or so years. A couple years ago we decided to get into a relationship and it's been like that until about 30 minutes ago. We both grew as people and I'm grateful for the time we had together, but I just don't know how to process everything.

It's been a long distance friendship and relationship, and that was the reason it ended. He didn't think he could handle the distance anymore, and while I don't agree with him and still would very much like to be in a relationship, I knew it wasn't a decision he made lightly and I also knew there was nothing I could do to change his mind. I could beg and stuff, but it would just make everything worse. I kind of just ended up not saying anything though, because I have no idea how to handle everything.

He said he still wants to be friends, which I would really like. He was my best friend for years because he was my boyfriend, and I miss my best friend. We're taking a break from talking for a little while, but I really hope we can be friends. We play video games together and watch TV shows and stuff and I'm really going to miss that.

And here I go crying again.

But I just don't now what I'm supposed to do. My heart hurts so much and I'm going to miss him. I'm gonna miss texting him in the morning and saying goodnight every night. I'm gonna miss marathoning Game of Thrones and Doctor Who and The 100. I'm gonna miss having someone to rant to and someone that can just make me feel better by hanging out on skype for a while.

What am I supposed to do? I don't know how to handle this. I don't know how to deal with everything.
October 9th, 2015 at 04:52am