I Give Up

Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year. I love Christmas lights, cookies, and all the pretty yard decorations. Every Christmas, I go all out. I spend $100+ on each of my parents(including step-dad). This year, I also have my boyfriend to shop for as well.

And I have $0 saved up.

Do you know why? I got depressed and spent my savings around January of this year. Then I tried to save up again, but I made almost no money even though I was a full-time employee and so everything went to my bills. Now I'm part time, I have no money to even drive to school, and I have four people to shop for.

Every time I try to save up something happens. Lately? It's everyone on the fucking planet's birthday. Two last month and one this month. I am so broke that I offered to take my parents out to eat for their birthdays in hopes of saving some money up for Christmas.

My dad? He chose McDonalds. It's what he wanted, so it's what I bought.
My step-dad? He chose a buffet style kind of restaurant. It can be expensive, but we got the lunch price for dinner food on accident. So it worked out not so badly.
My mom? Olive Garden. And my boyfriend was invited. So I get to spend $75+ dollars on food, plus I have to buy a birthday card, and make her a cake(which I'm sure I need to buy all ingredients for.)

I'm so irritated.
I get to disappoint everyone for Christmas because I can't afford anything and yet every time I turn around someone is asking me to spend money. And I don't mean just birthdays but they really are at the most inconvenient time of the year.

It doesn't help that my new job is only scheduling me for 3 1/2 hour shifts. They honestly didn't even tell me how much I make an hour either. So I've decided I'll give it a month or two and if they don't give me more hours then I will quit(no matter how unhappy it makes my grandpa).

I'm just upset and stressed. I need away to make more money, but my boyfriend said stripping is not an option. I have serious body issues, but I wont like, I considered doing it. There's literally no way to make extra money that doesn't involve getting a second job. Which I cant do because then I wouldn't have time for school and I'd hear a bunch of shit about how I never spend time with my boyfriend or family.

I'm sorry for the rant but my family doesn't seem to understand this no matter how many times I talk to them about it.