I didn't finish my October challenge, unfortunately. I kind of knew I wouldn't, but the idea was nice! It gave me a reason to write more for a few days.
So, what has been up with me? Only a few things.
I've gotten my life back on track. I've registered for spring classes at the community college in CIS, and I finally got a job! I'm not a loser anymore! My future is looking a little better so far.
There is one thing on my mind tonight, and that is my relationship. My boyfriend is a complex and difficult individual. He's been having some troubles recently, mostly with his health. He was in a car accident a few months ago, and the impact messed up his neck and back alignment. He's gone to treatments for it, but it hasn't seemed to work, and its kind of put a damper on his mood lately.
He hasn't been spending as much time with me, or telling me he loves me as much.
I'm not a needy person, nor do I crave attention, but the lack there of has kind of made me itchy for it. We use to text every day all day, and today I haven't even gotten one message from him. It's probably just my anxiety telling me to be worried about our relationship, and I really don't need to be, but I can't help it. I feel nervous, like something terrible is going to happen at any moment.
Also, at the height of all my fears, an ex messaged me out of the blue. I have referred to this guy as "the one who got away" to my friends. It's all so confusing. It's like all men have a 6th sense to know when a girl is sweating in her relationship. I know now that it would never work out between this ex and I, mostly because of our age gaps, (I'm 23, he's 33 and a single dad) and how he ended it when we were together, but the male attention is nice because I'm not receiving it now when I'm craving it.
It's a struggle, being in love, but feeling alone.
Songs: Northern Sky- Nick Drake
The One That Got Away-The Civil Wars
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