I thought that after I finally got through my I can't even finish a first chapter portion of my writer's block, things would get easier. The first chapter would be posted, the second would be flowing, and I'd get back into the groove of things easily enough. But that isn't the way that things have turned out.
I don't look at The Demons in Us anywhere near as much as I should, though I do have parts of the second chapter done. I look at Crash Into Me every day, but not in the way that most people think. The second chapter was doing fine - until I decided that I really hated the first chapter I have posted, and I decided it needs to be re-written.
So now I am re-writing that first chapter again, and I almost feel like I'm right back where I started.
I feel like I'm disappointing my readers. But more importantly, I am seriously disappointing myself. Why can't I just get these things done?
All I want to do is write!
The fact that I can't has me feeling really down again. To the point that I don't even want to post to my blog anymore, or my Tumblr. All I do is sit here and wallow. How pathetic is that?
And here's another thing that's getting me down: the fact that my mother won't let me go to concerts on my own.
I mean, I get it. I'm a girl, the world is a dangerous place, and she doesn't like the idea of me traveling on public transport alone at night. But I'm twenty-five, I can't always expect somebody to come to shows with me (especially if I go as a photographer and don't have a +1), and why should I be forced to miss out just because I don't have any friends?
Everything was peachy when my best friend lived right around the corner, but since she moved to Queensland my mother has put her foot down on the concerts front. If I don't have somebody to go with me, she doesn't want me to go. But it's more than that. It doesn't matter if I have friends that are going to be there - it only matters if I have somebody who's going to bring me home.
Are you kidding me? Of the few "friends" that I have that would actually go to these shows with me, none of them live anywhere near my house. And it's not fair for me to ask them to go out of their way at midnight to bring me home.
It's times like these I wish I had a boyfriend, or even just a close male friend that would be willing to take me to these events. I very rarely go to them. Besides Soundwave, this is the first concert I'll be going to this year. It just sucks that I have to make an effort to find a babysitter for myself.
Does anybody else have an over-protective mother, and people who don't understand when you say you can't just tell her to suck it up?
And is anybody going to Halestorm in Sydney next Sunday and need a friend? =(
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