Christmas Cheer?

Its Christmas eve, and I have never felt less christmasy.

Yeah, that's probably not a word, I know. But it's true. Right? This year everything gone by pretty fast. Just yesterday it was Halloween. Or it was summer and we ran around in the surf.

But, for some reason, this christmas doesn't feel special. Maybe it's the fact that it hasn't gotten cold? Or that everyone has been trying to kill each other lately. Or maybe it's the fact that everyone argues constantly. I yearn for a home where the only screaming I wake up to is the kettle, telling me the water is done.

Maybe it's because we have grown out of christmas? For me, a child from divorced parents, it's not so easy.

Christmas hasn't been as magical since I was young. When Santa was real and reindeer could fly, and elves built toys for good girls and boys.

When we actually tried to make christmas magical by leaving out cookies and milk. Or by putting up christmas lights and baking cookies.

Other people from divorced families will understand what I'm saying. How instead of wondering what will be for dinner, instead we wonder who's house we will eat at. Instead we think about ways to avoid the arguing instead of ways to set up the tree. We try to avoid the conflict so we lock ourselves in our rooms and get called hermits for not wanting to come out.

Maybe it's because we've grown up? Or maybe it's because the world has lost sight of what christmas and even humanity is all about.