My Memory Is Cruel

The last three months have seen me in an inexplicable rut over a relationship that hardly lasted long enough to count. I'm still in the rut, and I realized why when I was on a Tinder date a few days ago. The guy I went out for coffee with had a theory:
Every person has one set of words in their mind that someone could say to them and it would make them fall in love instantly.
I believe it.
And J nailed it.
The first night I met J I though he was going to be a dull, senseless jock. And then he said it. Better than I could have ever phrased this idea in my mind. He hit the nail on the head and I was instantly enamored.
Now he's dating someone new. He posted a picture on NYE where it honestly looks like he's eating her face off.
I've been desperately trying to move on since October with little success. I've gone on plenty of dates with guys who are smart, handsome, successful, sweet, and absolutely amazing, but I haven't gotten past second base with a single one of them. They all seem to fall short now that I know there is someone out there who thinks exactly the way I do.
When the break up was fresh I kind of swore off love. I said I wasn't doing it again because I didn't want to be hurt like this again. You either get hurt irreparably or you get married. And I don't want either of those things. I know I needed to go through this for some reason, but it hurts so terribly. I feel like I'm being torn apart. I feel physically ill every single time he likes something on a mutual friend's page and I see his name or his photo. We still talked until about a month ago. I had a really awful night and I thought about texting him because I felt so alone and I needed to talk to another human, but I refrained. I told myself if it was okay to think of him as a friend the universe would give me a sign. I woke up to a text from him. We spoke a few more times and I wished him a Merry Christmas, but I don't think I'll be hearing from him anymore. And I want to be okay with that.
I read that when you truly love someone it can take over a year to get over it. All things considered, I would have to assume that its a true fact. We've been over longer than we were officially together and I'm still dying on the inside. I have a photographic and audiographic memory. I remember every moment of our relationship. All the good and the bad. The midnight coffee runs, the way he hated my cold feet, the way he was half looking at the TV and half at me trying to decide whether or not to kiss me. I remember his voice, his mannerisms, I remember it all. And its killing me.
I would seriously welcome any advice on how to deal with the agony I feel. It isn't logical. It isn't healthy.