I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!
IT'S BEEN ALMOST 9 YEARS SINCE I FIRST STARTED WRITING MY FIRST FANFICTION AND POSTING IT ONLINE! (now the caps are off)
I first started writing fanfic when I was 14. I feel like digging a big, deep hole and bury myself in it every time I think about my first fanfic.
The first fanfic I remember posting was a My Chemical Romance fanfic. My OC (I can't remember her name) was 14 years old. And she just moved to a new town. And then she found out that she was neighbour with no other than Gerard Arthur-fucking-Way (and here is where I'm digging that hole). Gerard was 28 years old in the fic. I can't believe I fell into that age-gap fic trap. And what's worse? I didn't even mention about the law or the struggle they had being in relationship when it was obvious she was underage. And his friends were all fine with that. And her parents didn't care. She had no reasons to be bitchy but she was just so poorly developed that it seemed like she had a PMS in every chapter. I can't even believe that I wrote that fic. It was so horrendous.
But my real, first fanfic that I didn't post anywhere but I wrote it in this notebook and gave to my friends to read was a Good Charlotte and Simple Plan fanfic.
How do I even begin to describe this fic? So my OC was called Danielle. And she was mute. Apparently she had a traumatic past and she chose not to talk. And she had a twin sister who didn't understand her and they didn't get along even though the were twins. And she had something, something going on with Joel. And her sister was the band's guitar tech. And even though she didn't get along with her twin, she brought her along when the band was on tour. And then suddenly with Joel, Danielle spoke again (and there was not reason for her to talk too. They literally just met for two minutes). And then things and stuff happened and then Danielle broke up with Joel and got with David Desrosiers. And long the line Benji died in a car accident and in the same accident Billy injured his arm and couldn't play guitar anymore. And really it was just one drama after another with no real plot! And then they found out that the reason Danielle stopped speaking was because when she was little, she was raped and the man that raped her was actually Joel's dad.
I hate myself for writing that fic. I really do. I'm so glad I lost that book somewhere. Like I swear if I found it again, I'd burn it! I'd burn it mibba!
But of course over the years I got better. I hope I got better. Oh my GOD! Please don't tell me I'm the same writer as I was when I was 14. That would've been depressing to have been writing for so long and still haven't improved.
My first slash fanfic was worse. I'm ashamed to even talk about it. My first slash pairing was a Joel Madden/Benji Madden twincest (by the end of this blog, I'd probably dig that hole anyway). It was also my first smut. I wish I can personally go to those two and personally apologize to them because it's one thing to write two friends (or more) having sex with each other (I do that a lot even these days) but siblings? Twins? That's kinda pushing it. I'm sorry Benji and Joel... if there's any off chance that you're reading this stupid blog.
I guess that's why I'm so critical about character development these days. It's like I grew up writing really shitty fics but nobody actually told me that I was shitty and I had to learn the hard way how to grow as a writer. And as a non-native English user, learning the language was hard enough and to write about realistic characters using a language that I wasn't too fluent in... it was hard.
Huh... I guess this blog has lost its focus somehow.
My point is... I'm feeling very nostalgic and yeah, as much I give shit about my old writings, I know that without those shitty characters, super bad plot lines, jumpy scenes and obviously poorly-developed characters, I wouldn't be where I am now. Obviously there are so many things that I still have to learn but I think I'm on the right track.
Tell me your story, mibba? How were you when you first started writing? Were you as bad? What was your first fic? Until then, bye!
xxLina