Ok so I arrived back on the sunday morning and fell asleep in the car on the way home... I had the time of my life.
I had sunday and monday completely off before starting my new placement on the tuesday. Its with an oil and gas company called Exova, and theyve told me to bring together all relevant information on their domestic and international competitors and analyse it, which sounds great. If its one thing im bloody good at then its analysing, im constantly analysing things, my life, my surroundings, my past, my future, so doing it in a job is an absolute breeze. I was right....
I went into the office where everyone looked so depressed and so bored, it was the quietest office ive ever been in, I hated it to be honest. Im weird, Im an extrovert, give me someone who likes intelligent conversation and I will talk to them all day!
My manager told me what he expected of me and I agreed, its all pretty simple stuff to be honest, im an intelligent person so getting me head round it really isnt that difficult. I report directly to a new girl, ironically called Amy, shes really nice and we get on really well and we constantly stay in touch over email about how things are going in Exova.
Something I dont like is how serious everyone is, they do their job as if their entire life depended on it.... My approach to everything in life is relax, enjoy yourself, have a laugh, but work your ass off - if you do that then your work is going to be 10000x better than if all you worried about and did in your life was constantly work without enjoyment. Its quite straight forward what I do, I gain all the information for competitor X and put it all together into one dossier, and I will repeat the process for however many competitors there are. Average joe off the street might struggle but I find it all too easy, its good practice though and will guide me in good stead for when I come to begin my own business plan and competitor analysis.
One bother is that I dont get paid, therefore I do what times I want to do, Ive told them I will do 10-4 two days a week, as Im also in uni twice a week, and have work twice a week, so Im a busy boy when Im up in Aberdeen!!
Something that continues to bring me down is my insomnia, I can honestly say I cant remember the last time where I didnt wake up in the middle of the night at least twice... And every couple of months, like the last couple of nights, sleep is almost impossible. The other night I stayed there in bed, struggling to sleep. I stayed awake until 7am... yes, 7am... Slept until 12, then got up. Ive never had any sleep problems like this before, it was very close to being torture, when you feel so tired but you just cant sleep, as coldplay would say.
Unluckily for me I had work yesterday, 5 until 3, and as you could guess I didnt sleep at all, I couldnt sleep, I called my boss at 4 and said I havent slept and he said dont worry about it - he knows I have a sleeping disorder. I eventually fell asleep around 8am, yes 8am, waking up again at around 12 noon. I worked 2 until 5 in the end.
Then yesterday I tried to plan my evening so that I could attend work properly today, I had a bath, I read a book, I didnt go on my phone all night, youd think I was 60 years old!! Did it work? Kind of... I went to bed at around 9, fell asleep at around 12, woke up at 1.30, then my alarm woke me up at 4.15. So I got around 3 and a half hours sleep, and I can struggle through a shift at work off that. So yes, I think in hindsight yes my approach did work and did pay off. Today Im going to talk to my boss about it, I dont quite know what to tell him, I will tell him that obviously im sorry, and that I cant do anything about it... Im going to try and go to the doctors tomorrow and it will probably result in me seeing a psychiatrist, something Ive turned down numerous times in the past.
Ive been told before because I am highly intelligent and that I am constantly thinking and analysing it makes me nervy, almost anxious, the fact Im unhappy and have been unhappy for over a year now plays a large part in my sleeping problems. I dont like to think about me getting counselling, in my mind it makes me feel like Im accepting the fact I cant fix something myself and that its making me weak.... I dont know. But then Ive said in the past it takes a bigger man to accept he cant handle a situation than the man who struggles through it. Im fed up, if something can be done to improve my sleep then f*ck it, Im going to try it, because frankly its starting to drive me insane!!
Something I didnt add in my New York blog was the fact I saw a psychic, it was all rather odd, me and Jack were both slightly drunk and when we saw a psychic Jack told me to go in - as a joke - but obviously me being drunk I was like OH OK THEN!
So off I went to go and see this psychic....
She told me everything the previous psychic have..... Which I guess is good? The fact she tells me that Im going to be self employed, that Im going to be successful, that Im going to have very strong links with America... All my previous psychics have told me this. I guess its good, but it leaves me more frustrated because I know im stuck in a position with Uni and my current job where I cannot move forward... there is nothing more frustrating.
You might think that psychics are a load of tosh, but what makes me believe in them is how they can tell you something that nobody else knows. One in Aberdeen knew stuff about my relationship that nobody else did... One in Torquay told me about how someone in my family had an operation and they werent well - my Dad.... The one in New York was the creepiest, she knew about my dreams, when she told me that I used to remember my dreams but now struggle to, my jaw dropped, it was like someone was reading my past, it was almost scary.
Next week is something to look forward to at least, I have another week of uni and work before I drive home next Monday - again. Uni doesnt start until February and all my uni friends are still away on holidays, I dont quite know why I agreed to start placement so early, I guess my attitude is different I dunno. If I have the chance then I will go home and spend time with my Dad and Grandparents, they arent young anymore, and Dad isnt well, so ANY time I can give to drive 600 back home and see them, I will do it.
Instead of constantly getting drunk though I feel I need to add more purpose to my visit this time, Im going to get a gym trial and hit the gym every morning, try and keep a good sleeping pattern, probably 11/12 - 7/8. I want to spend as much time with my Dad as possible aswell.
I will also, if I can, start my own business plan regarding the gym idea, I honestly think its a cracking idea and only doing a proper in depth business plan will tell me how profitable and realistic it can be - you see people opening up businesses for the fun of it nowadays, I dont have the time nor money to take part in business like that - I will only enter and start my own business to make hard solid cash, which I will then use to grow the business and the brand.
Today is going alright, Ive done nearly 1/4 of my shift and Im feeling okay, I cant wait to go home and relax on the sofa near the fire with the dog and cat, its ridiculous how much I love my animals, I dont know anyone who is closer to their pets than I am with mine!!
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