My Best Friend Died

This blog is to explain everything that's happened with me for the past year or so.

I know I have been gone, and that wasn't fair to just leave out of nowhere without an explanation and I'm so sorry for it. I never meant to. I wasn't even expecting what happened.

What happened?

Well, May 3rd, 2015 my best friend, William Scott Smith (He's in some of my pictures on my profile.) committed suicide. That day I felt like my whole life fell apart. I could practically feel my heart hit the floor. I met him in 2012 and we connected immediately. We met over Facebook to be honest. We instantly connected. We were SO alike it was ridiculous. We have almost every single thing in common. How many people can experience that? So we came up with a nickname for what we were. Twin/Twinie. We were Best Friends till the end. I just didn't know the end would come so fast for him. He had dark brown hair and the prettiest brown eyes. We were always together, no matter what.

I was in sixth grade when I met my best friend -- he was in seventh. We were always texting, trying to find out plans to be with each other and just mess around. Our parents, and our friends, all believed we were dating. Anyone that met us thought we were dating. He was my world. And I honestly believed I was his.

He developed depression, just as I did. His was from his father. His father would abuse him practically, and was just emotionally destroying towards him. His mother and his father divorced. Slowly his father realized what he had done and was distraught. He loved his son and felt horrid. They bonded once more. I was happy for him, he was so happy when he was with his dad.

Then we found out I was moving. It hurt both of us in a way that destroyed a small part of us, but we would always be texting and calling. He was there for me when my past boyfriends would hurt me and I was always there when his past girlfriends would hurt him.

He was always into weed and drugs. He would take pills and such. Finally, he told his mother (if he hadn't, I would've.) and they were planning on getting him help, slowly but surely. At school, a blunt fell out of his backpack. They wrongfully expelled him.

Other kids had worse than weed in their backpacks and had been found with such and HAD NEVER been expelled. He sunk even further into depression. I tried to help as much as I could, but I just couldn't fanthom why he was being treated by the school like this. His mom send him to a facility and got him the proper help. He came back and wasn't the same. He seemed better, but there was still something off.

He once told me, "Jordan, I think I shouldn't have been released.." And we worked through it. We were going to get him more help, at a camp here by where I live. Camp Shelby. He didn't want to do it, because it was a sort of boot camp, but it needed to be done. There he would get his driver's License and GED.

Then, on May 3rd, 2015, my Father came and checked me and my sister out of school. He was so serious and I asked him what was wrong. His reply was short, "When we get home."
My sister drove us both home, both of us confused on why we were going home so soon.

I got a text then. From my now Girlfriend, asking if I knew yet. I send back, "Know what?" She didn't want to tell me. She wanted to wait until I got home. I told her she better tell me right that moment. She then said that Scott had passed away and that she was so sorry. I told her she was a liar and that it couldn't be true.

I ran into the door of my house and looked at my mother and saw her crying and said, "No." She said, "You already know?" And I said No again and she told me to come to her and I broke down and started to sob screaming that it couldn't be true. I had lost the one person that made me feel okay about myself. I lost the only person that meant absolutely EVERYTHING to me. I didn't know how I would go on.

Through the past months, I've slowly regained my mental health (as much as I could) back and am now trying to be better and get better. I still miss him. Every day, I miss him and he's never away from my mind.

I owed you all an explanation as to why I was gone, and here it is. I apologize if it's sad, but it's the truth, and I felt like you all deserved to know.

-Jordan.