Disclaimer: I love my general manager, she's super nice (if a little lacking in the work ethic department) and I'm not trying to be mean toward her. While I have no love of my other coworker, I'm also in no way trying to be mean to him either.
Before you get in a tiff because I said the f-word, I'd like to share with you a sentiment that I and many other fat people share - yes, we are fat. As much as you'd like to un-hurt our feelings by telling us we are not, we are. You saying we are not doesn't change that we are. Not all of us share this sentiment, and I don't advise you to go around calling fat people fat just because they are fat. Just don't try to tell us we're not fat when we say that we are. If we're fat and we're acknowledging it, there's really no point in trying to tell us otherwise - you're actually belittling us and making us feel worse, mmkay?
Anyway, on to what I have to say.
Hi, my name is Alex, I'm a size 16, and I weigh upwards of 200 pounds. And I freaking hate it.
I don't hate it to the point that I agonize over it. I certainly don't make a big enough effort to change it, so it must not bother me too much. And honestly it doesn't, being fat is what it is, I enjoy damn good food all the time. I'm fat for a reason, as I like to say.
I have two coworkers - my manager and a driver who we'll call Tucker. Both of them are large. I don't know what their weight is, and I don't want to get offensive in trying to guess, but we all concede that we are fat. We are the three heaviest people there, and I don't even come close to their size.
And I've been thinking about it since the year started, about who I am and who I want to be and what kind of man I want to be when I finally begin to transition, and I can only tell you one thing - I really don't want to be fat anymore.
Especially looking at my manager and Tucker. They're both taller than I am, but they look like they could easily be twice my weight. Because they're taller than I am, that's probably bad. I'm really not trying to be mean, and they both seem fairly healthy so obviously nothing is wrong with them besides carrying a little more to love. My manager's got a kid and her boyfriend's still around, so obviously it's not a problem for her.
But I just don't want to get to that point. I don't want to be fat. I love food, but I do not want to be fat. I'm lethargic and tired all the time and I'm tired of losing good jeans to thigh chub. And I don't want to be a size sixteen.
I don't have a problem with being fat. I just don't want fat to be me anymore.
So I'm going on a chicken and vegetable diet. I am, essentially, redoing the atkins diet to the best of my ability. (I was on it briefly when I intended on going into the military and lost 14 pounds before I plateaued.) The diet was essentially as follows
Week 1-2
Chicken and vegetables (but certain kinds)
Week 3-4
Chicken and vegetables (most kinds, now including potatoes)
Week 5-6
Chicken, fish, vegetables, rice (possibly beef?)
There was more but that's all I remember. It's all I really need. I'm gonna keep out rice and potatoes for a while, which is gonna be hard because I love rice and potatoes. This also means absolutely no food from work. No fast food.
I'll eat beef every so often but I'm mostly gonna do chicken. I could probably go vegetarian for the same effect, but I still really like chicken, so I'll just stick with that. Plus, we have a whole lot of frozen chicken breasts in the freezer.
I'm gonna be experimenting with different recipes until I find a few that I like so I'm not eating essentially the same thing every day. Chicken can get pretty boring.
We've also got a treadmill upstairs which we got last summer. I should've been using it this whole time, but after I started working and going to school I lost the motivation to keep up. No more. Saturdays are rest days. I'm going to be doing something every day, whether it's running up and down the stairs, walking on the treadmill, or riding my bike. (Riding the bike will have to wait because I'm officially too fat to ride that for very long.)
Like I said... there's nothing wrong with being fat. It's just not what I want to be anymore.
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