Whordan Hopez Chronicles : In Which Jordan Becomes Ellis Prescott

Sorry, this is a long story

You guys, I don't even know if I can actually tel you this story without like passing out.

This semester I'm taking an Intro. to Criminal Justice class and my professor is genuinely the hottest man I've ever seen IRL. Like he should model. Like it's actually crippling how good looking he is. And I stalked him you guys before the class started. He sent out an email before the semester began and was very funny in it and I was like, "Oh, he sounds cute" because I can read into things like that.

So extensive googling later, I found this. I don't want to write his name in this blog because I'm paranoid af. But his initials are K.S.L. If you scroll through the page you'll find a photo of him on it. And I'm telling you the photo does ZERO justice.

Now I'm like thoroughly convinced I have the hottest professor ever and I get to class on the first day and that shit is confirmed. He int beautiful and funny and kind of nerdy. He wears these clear framed glasses on tuesdays and contacts on thursdays and it's perfection. Best of both worlds. I fall quickly and madly in love.

I start googling extensively to find out more because that's the type of psycho I am. I find his twitter which is loaded with hilarious tweets that are both equally political and filled with urban jargon we all use so well. One of the things I really like about him is how with the times he is. Like his notes on the slideshows have hilarious memes throughout them.

I deduce that since he has a BS and MA so I'm guessing he's somewhere between 29-32 in that realm I suppose. So that's my backstory with the hottie professor. For a good month I was getting all dolled up for his class but from searching his twitter I also deduced he has a girlfriend, one that I think he's been dating or at least knew from high school. So I was going to let the lurid affair idea leave.

Until tonight.

I decided to stay in DC for my Spring Break instead of going back home to Jersey because the nightlife here is awesome and I use my sister's fake so I have access to most 21 and up places. Tuesday is (usually) club night, so my friend Maggie and I get dressed up, I'll put up a photo on my profile of my outfit for you guys. THere's this relatively new club that we decide to hit because its open bar until 11 and they were having some event so we thought it'd be pretty popping.

Spoiler: it was the exact opposite.

We actually hit some issues when we get there. My friend's fake is denied. She has to go in with her real ID so she can't drink and she tries to sneak my drink but gets caught and we're like two seconds away from getting kicked out. The place is nice but it's empty as all hell. I don't know, we're sitting on the side couches for maybe an hour when my friend stars begging me to approach some guys with her which like isn't my thing. I scope the bar/dance floor and notice a guy in a blue sweater. The outfit is familiar. His height. The hair. I mean, I'm pretty drunk and it's dark with flashing lights so I'm thinking I'm seeing things but I go to my friend, and I'm like, "Dude, that's my Professor."

She shuts me down because she's seen photos of him and I think okay, if she doesn't see it it must not be him. But I keep watching him and he's dancing, he looks over at me a few times and now I'm like slowly accepting that it's him. My friend is like, "Okay, okay, I'll check." So she gets up and goes over to the bar. I watch her. Later she told me she asked him if he was a professor and he said no. She shakes her head at me though across the room, and gestures me over.

I walk over and him and I maintain eye contact the whole time I cross the dance floor. I slide in between him and my friend and turn my back on him. "100%," I say. "100% it's him."

She's like, "No, no Jordan it isn't." Granted I'm wasted and she's tipsy so maybe we're both fucked. So I glance back and I'm like, louder, "100%! I'm outta here." So I dash across the room and she starts talking to him. I watch, unsurely as they both look at me and recognition comes across his face. Slowly, I start back towards the two holding my glass. I'm guzzling alcohol now because I am SO ill equipped to handle this.

He comes up to me, his chest brushes my shoulder and he leans down, whispering into my ear, "What section is your class?"

I'm drunk you guys. I don't know the section number of my class when I'm sober. Sputtering like an imbecile, I go, "Uhm my class is on uh Wednesdays." My class is on Tuesdays, guys.

"11:45?" he asks.

I go, "No uh 3:45." He looks at me like I'm crazy.

"On Tuesday then?"

And I'm like, "Yeah, yeah tuesdays my bad."

My friend has all but disappeared from sight so I lean against the bar and we start talking. He's like, "I have a twin brother. I'm Sebastian. He's the one who teaches."

I nod. "Oh right right. That makes sense. Well you can tell him he's a great professor." Yep, guys I said that. Clearly gave him some accolades cause I'm a fangirl.

Then he goes, "What are you drinking?" We are standing so closely to one another. I can SMELL him. I can look at his face and see the color of his eyes.

"Rum and coke," I say back but he doesn't hear me. "Anything," I say louder.

So my PROFESSOR orders shots and the bartender gives him shit cause of my friend basically sneaking drinks illegally. He grabs two shots off the counter and turns around in front of me and goes, "Take this." He freaking sneaks me a shot!

In my head, I'm like shit. Cause you girl can't take a shot without tons of chaser and now I have to look like a pro and take this shot. I do it, and my body hates me for it, but I play it cool. As cool as I can anyway.

We're both leaning against the bar and he goes, "What's your last name?"

I go, "Lopez."

He's like, "First?"

"Jordan." He opens up blackboard on his phone and I'm like, "Wait! You can't just look me up on blackboard!" I reach over and hit the home button his phone. He opens it again and I go in again and he like slyly pulls his phone away.

I go, "Did you grade the midterm?"

"Not yet."

I'm like, "It's not my best!"

Meanwhile he's scrolling through the roster and finds me there. I guess he taught I wasn't really his student. Now that it's like definitively clear he kind of cuts the crap about it being his twin that teaches me. He asks me about Spring break briefly, and I congratulate him on his Ph.D. He acts all like I don' know like humble about getting his Ph.D.

Then he tells me he's writing a dissertation on white collar crime in the night life. I guess to explain why he's at this club? We've agreed that us running into each other is a secret. And I'm like not gonna go to my school's administration or some shit. Or even hold it against him, or anything like that. I decide things are getting weird, and kind of pull away, text my friend to come back over and then I order a drink because this is all tooooooo real.

I chug it and start dancing with my friend and we're dancing and it's chill for a bit. I keep meeting the professor's eyes though and then he just comes over and starts dancing with me. Like he puts his arm around my shoulders and I PUT MY ARM AROUND HIS. The dancing is pretty tame, no grinding, no like handsy touching but like WE'RE DANCING.

He initiated dancing with me, you guys. Like ugh. Dead. I'm dead. So once we stop I grab my friend and am like, "I JUST F*CKING DANCED WITH MY PROFESSOR. I'M WIGGING. I'M FREAKING OUT. I CAN'T BREATHE." And she's starts crying and laughing and she's like, "WHAT. Jordan, I didn't think he really was your professor I thought you were kidding! WHAT THE HELL."

We return to the dance floor and I dance with my friend for a bit and then the prof returns and starts dancing with me AGAIN.

I try to remain calm and just like chill but I'm DYING on the inside because I am in LOVE with this man. I'm almost 100% sure he has a girlfriend, too so it means nothing but needless to say this night made my life. I ended up leaving the club pretty abruptly shortly after and it just so happens that I need to see him at office hours this week. So there's THAT.

I'm still processing this night and trying to understand how all that happened. What it even means. How I'm supposed to sit in his class and not like throw up.