Great Week

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I've had a pretty great week guys. I just had my prelims/midterms or whatever you call it and I feel like this week is a good way to start failing.

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My grades dropped like Laganja's death drop btw.

But in all seriousness, you guys won't believe what I've found out in the past few days.

Story time:
Last week's Thursday, I got diarrhea because the night before, my mom made me eat this weird-ass tasting salmon that she baked for me. And I'm like "alright alright, I'm gonna eat this so you won't nag at me later". So I eat it and like minutes later, my stomach hurt - the kind of hurt that makes you want to just clutch your tummy and roll around the floor making Kevin Hart sounds. Anyway, long story short, I missed my class 'cause I had to poop real bad.

LAST WEDNESDAY, my mom and I went to the doctor because apparently, I got diagnosed with scoliosis when I got checked out in school and my allergies won't stop. So I tell my doctor what happened to me and what I ate and he was like, "How old was the food?"

Then my mom says, "It's been in our fridge for 3 days."

W h a t the hell?
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/rip Big Ang

I think this is the more appropriate gif to show my expression back then:
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Then my mom looks at me with a shit-eating grin. And I suddenly realized that she had no plan to tell me whatsoever that she just gave me diarrhea.
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Then she proceeds to tell my doctor that I haven't showered for 4 days.
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Just smh, smh.
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I ain't complaining but that probably was the reason why she bought me so much stuff. Because she gave me diarrhea.
NEXT STORY LOL

Anyway, the other day, I bought some double stuff oreos with the full intention of eating them when I remember to eat them. And I also bought milk so I can poop because I'm extremely constipated that I don't poop for like a week or so.

So one day, I was eating my newly-bought oreos in the dining room by myself then I put it back to my secret stash 'cause I decided to finish it tomorrow.

BUT GUESS WHAT. The night after that, I was peeing on the chamberpot and when I looked up, guess what I found. MY OREOS. In our room (my mom and I share a room). Behind the tissue.

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Then I'm like "seriously. seriously, mom?"

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But she was asleep so I just snapchatted it then went to bed so I can confront her in the morning. You know what she says to me?

Non-verbatim
Me: Mom, I know you ate my oreos.

Mom: I didn't bring those here.

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Me: So, what? They had legs and they walked here? Uh-huh nice one boo.
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Mom: I didn't eat them though...
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That's it. Can't trust nobody in this house no more. I can't. I just can't.
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Okay, last one. That's amazing if you guys reached to this part.

So I was pooping and I was talking to my mom through the door. And she was singing so freaking loud just ugh it was so horrible. I'm not even kidding 'cause someone threw a rock at the house one time when she was singing karaoke. True story.

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Me: Mom can you shut up, I can't poop when I see or hear you.

Mom: Yeah well... (like legit there's a pause here)... your face makes me poop.
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Nice comeback, mom. Nice one.
Okay, that's the end. Your suffering is now over lmao you will be blessed if you read everything. I'll probably post another blog tomorrow about my prelim adventures lol

edit: Shoutout to Victoria for showing me SimCity! I am gagging over my cities lmaoo.
March 18th, 2016 at 05:33pm