A Little Like Happy Hour

So this morning I was checking Facebook and a I saw a post that really pissed me off. It was about depression and how if you're having issues with it you should just make changes like exercising and eating better and socializing more. And I thought to myself; comment on it. Stick up for the people who suffer. Show them that most don't treat mental illnesses like they're important. So I did, and I said; " Mmkay. This showed up on my feed and irritated me so I'm going to put my two cents in here and say that yes, things like exercise and socializing help depression because it releases a chemical in your brain that helps counter balance the lack of chemicals that is causing the depression. However, depression is so much more than just a part of your brain that doesn't produce the chemicals it needs to make you a functioning human being. Depression is like a zombie, slowly eating at your mind. You have self depreciating thoughts, you have self confidence issues, it makes you anxious, you have no motivation because to you there is no point. Why bother when it's all just the same trivial shit on a different day? Depression is like the devil on your back that you can't see, and sometimes can't feel. You have your high points and then come the low points, the moments where you feel like you don't deserve the good days. You think that you're weak because you can't just be normal and happy like everyone else. Instead, you want to hide under the covers and you end up just feeling so grey. You feel weak and you hate that weakness. Depression is not a strength, it's not beautiful, it's vomiting up every meal for years because you feel so sick of yourself. It's scars because you have to find some way to justify the pain you're feeling. It's sleepless nights for days, weeks, months straight. It's sleeping too much and never feeling rested. It's feeling like there's no reason to be so down, like your experiences and your feelings shouldn't matter in the scope of things. You're insignificant and so are your problems and emotions. Depression isn't a fight or a battle. It's a fucking full scale war against you and every military force in the world all inside of your mind. Your friends don't get it, your family doesn't get it, hell no one gets it. And yes, the person suffering is the only one who can fix it. We as the victims of this illness have to swallow our pride and say yes, I'm suffering. No, I'm not okay. Nothing is fine. We have to stop seeing ourselves alone in the war and start looking to loved ones for help. We have to stop being helpless and ask for the help we need. Because when we do that, we finally being to build the strength to get better. Depression stops being a weakness it just becomes a part of you. The bad days get fewer and farther between and they still come, but they're better. Sleeping becomes a little easier. Eating isn't the answer to emotional break downs. Your body becomes somewhere you're comfortable. You have more energy, more confidence. But it takes asking for help. That first step. Depression sucks, ask anyone who has fought it. You don't always win, but you have to figure out how to make the game worth it."

I don't know everyone's battle. I can't say that your battle is the same as mine, that you feel this way about depression too. But I wanted people to know, they're not alone. They're not weird. They're not entirely misunderstood. It happens to others too. Maybe not the same way, and not the same experiences, maybe not the same thoughts. But you aren't alone. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help with your depression isn't a weakness. It's the first step to being strong instead of trying to be.