Life Feels Like a Soap Opera

I don't want to get into details, because some of them are just too personal, and others are things that are to do with my family that I know they don't want advertised. But life has been a clusterfuck lately.

One, I've got some marital problems going on that are potentially unresolvable. We're still trying, kind of, but I can see it being over soon.

Two, I've got a relative in some pretty serious trouble right now. Ever since their suicide attempt a few months ago, it's been one thing after another with them, and now they've been arrested on some very serious charges and I don't know what to think.

Three, I've got another relative who's becoming an alcoholic--and a really MEAN one at that.

And of course all of that is on top of the normal day to day stresses.

I'm kind of at the point where I feel really numb to everything. I don't think I'm capable of processing bad news anymore.

This weekend is my former roommate's birthday. She and I are going to a friend's place for Cards Against Humanity and gratuitous amounts of alcohol. And also cake, and maybe pizza. I think all three of us need it right now.

Also, I've got a couple posts from a few days ago I'd like to share with you guys.

When You Think You Can't Keep Going is a PuckerMob post I put up a few days ago, written mostly for myself because I felt like I was going to collapse with some things that had been going on. It's very honest and personal and hopefully something someone else will find useful.

Mermaids is a short poem I wrote basically born out of frustration with myself for my inability to make decisions I felt I should've been able to make.

Check 'em out, share 'em if you'd like.

Today I need to write another PuckerMob post and post it, then I need to start working on a post to put up on WordPress the day before National Poetry Writing Month starts, which I have no idea what to write about but whatever. I'll figure it out.

Then I need to wash the dishes, clean the litter box, tidy up the apartment a bit, and catch a fucking Pineco god damn it those Pokemon are assholes.

I had a bad dream last night and I still feel off because of it. I'm craving tea but I can't have any because caffeine would just exacerbate my anxiety.

I should take myself on a walk today too. The weather is beautiful, and being outdoors would probably do me some good. My husband will be out of town all day today, so I can't go on a walk with him, but there's nothing wrong with going out alone for a while like I used to.

A trip to the supermarket can't hurt either, but I need the AmEx and my husband has it right now. Damn him.

Anyway. Enough rambling from me today. I hope y'all are well.