My Friend Went Back to Her Ex

Hello, Mibba. It's been a bit.

Over the summer and until late November, my best friend dated this guy, we'll call him L. He's a year older than us. Now, I had no issue with him at first. I knew him when he still went to school with us and he was a cool guy. I was happy when they started dating.

But whenever I was with them, even if it was in a group of people, I always got the feeling that he didn't like me, like he thought I was lesser than him. I just brushed it off as me being slightly paranoid and maybe even jealous because my best friend had someone new in her life.

Well. My suspicions were confirmed when they started to fight. It really happened over the course of a weekend, from Friday night to Sunday night. First, L told my best friend that he didn't like her family. And then he said he didn't like me. I'm a bitch or something. Fine, whatever.

They had a really long talk the next day about their issues and it seemed like all was well. Then on Sunday he dumped her.

She was crushed. This was her first real relationship and I know she loved him. She cried all the time and it was horrible to deal with. I hated seeing her so hurt, and I hated what he did to her.

That was months ago, and lately she was acting like she was finally getting over him. Until he texted her.

This is obviously a very predictable thing: he texted her, she responded, and now they're hanging out and are more or less back together. However, she kept it from me for a while, lying to me about where she was going and whatever because she thought I'd be mad if I knew she was with him.

And she's right. I am mad. I'm mad that this person, who broke her heart, gets to waltz back into her life and she instantly forgives him. I'm mad that now she's lying to me about dumb shit. I'm mad that he got off so easy before, that he didn't have to do all of the things I had to do for the past few months to try to help her through her misery even though it was useless.

She insists that one day I'll accept him. I won't.

I know forgiveness is important. I know her happiness is important. I want her to be happy, I do. But I just can't do it like this. I can't support her while knowing the person I'm supporting her with. The person who insulted her family, insulted her, insulted me.

I don't want to talk to him or see him or try to work it out because I don't want anything to do with him. I want him to realize he's not worthy of her, he never was, and to just leave so we can go back to how things were.

I don't know. I only want the best for her, Mibbs, but she can't seem to see that. And yes, I know I have to just back off and let her make her own mistakes since it's her life, her decision, blah blah blah. But it's just so hard!!!!!!!!! I have never been content with sitting back and watching people I love hurt themselves!!!!! AGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't even know if I need advice on this (although if you have some I'll take it). I just need to vent. Sigh.