Behind closed doors, he would hit me. Cheat on me. Play with my insecurities. Dehumanize me.
He almost raped me.
He got me pregnant.
I lost the baby.
He laughed and told me to get over it.
We broke up after 2 years.
I broke after 2 years.
YEARS.
Then slept with my best friend.
The other day, I broke down, anxiety levels through the roof as I sat there asking how he coud do all of this to someone. Anyone. As A Human. Why.
And I cannot make this up.
And I cried for an hour and a half.
And I literally cannot stop thinking about the fact
that he told me
i deserved it.
"I didn't put my hands on you for no reason...."
"Then you have to admit certain things or actions may be the origin of what came along..."
But he apologized "from the bottom of my heart".
But I don't believe he has one.
So I don't believe he is sorry at all.
And I am eternal uncomfortable that I didn't send him to jail when I had all of those chances....