Has anyone ever been so broken hearted you can almost feel it crumbling in your chest? Like you can close your eyes and see the crumbled mess? It's like a massacre no one else can see. But you can see it, feel it, drown in it.
That's exactly what I feel like I'm drowning in an endless sea of depression, hurt and pain... Endless heartbreak.. I'm struggling to reach the surface but all I see is blackness, death doom and destruction. How can I go on like this?
I'm calling out.... God? Family? Friend? Someone?! Anyone!?!? Help me!
All I see, all that come near seem to be people who want or need my help. I love to help and I do when I can.. But can't they see I've nothing left to give!? Look past my fake smile.. See paat the fa├žade! Help me! Don't push me deeper with your hurts, pains and guilt. Just give me a hand.. I can't breathe much longer.. The depression is getting darker.. Soon I'm afraid, all will be black.
And would anyone truly care? Would the world suffer my loss.. Not as a whole, that is sure. My children might, but maybe they would be better off too.. My friends? I am not sure it would matter much to them. I'm not a very good friend anyway.. What would my life matter if it was over? Nothing really.
But I must struggle on. I must power through. God, help me power through. I may touch the bottom of the darkest depths of this endless sea of depression and despair but I MUST find the will to find the surface. I can't let my life end this way. Whether it matters to anyone else or not I MUST power through
May 18th, 2016 at 04:52am