Food Doesn't Like Me

I love food, I need food, I probably eat too much food (Of course I do it's why my stomach hangs over now lol), It is my precious.

But it hates me.

Like anytime I eat something does wrong, I either choke or spill it all over the place, something.

Like today, my spaghetti tried to kill me. You know that slight moment of panic when you feel a whole noodle slid into your throat? oh my gosh, that is one of the worst feelings ever. and you try your best to stop it but it goes down anyway x.x ugh.

And then my lemon for my tea shot me in the eye, twice. then somehow it was an otherwise dry lemon so there was hardly any lemon juice left for my tea *cries*. Sure, I could just buy that lemon juice in the squirt bottle. But let's face it, Freshly squeezed lemon juice in nice, cold mint tea is just so much better. so much.

We used to have one of those things you stick in the fruit and it sprays out the juice kinda like a body spray bottle would. But...it fell to the floor once and no-one noticed it, and my Maltese got to it and now well...it's toast.

Also, I love bacon, I love having a slice or two in the morning with my boiled egg or toast. However, I cannot stand to be popped my grease droplets. It doesn't help that our stove's "low" setting is pretty much medium compared to most other stove settings. So I can't really turn down the heat to avoid the grease popping. I look like a crazy person when Cooking bacon, in long sleeve and wearing a scarf all over my head so that I do not get popped in the face. Luckily I wear glasses so my eyes are automatically protected. I cannot stand that short quick annoying pain of getting popped by grease, and it always leaves a mark on your arm for like days as a friendly reminder. Bacon, it's more dangerous than you think! Although Turkey bacon doesn't pop that much grease at you, and the maple kind is pretty tasty (when burned) but I don't really like it over Beef or regular bacon.

A chip stabbed me in the roof of my mouth the other day and I thought I was gonna need stitches. Lays chips and corn chips are like made to cut your mouth, but that are so darn good!

Am I like the only person who has no luck with food? Because this is like everyday stuff for me and I am starting to feel pretty food-challenged.