They Cheated--Now What?

I still think it's hilarious that the day I decide to open up to Mibba about the issues my relationship has been facing for the last year was the day everyone was talking about what shit people "cheaters" are as part of a blog challenge.

I'll say again: I don't for one second think cheaters are inherently bad people. Unpopular opinion, I know.

Yesterday I posted a link to my PuckerMob blog titled "After an Affair: When it's Okay to Stay." I wrote this because just under a year ago, when I found out my husband had been having an affair, I was desperate to find someone saying "I stuck it out and it worked for me and I'm glad." Instead, all I could find was "He doesn't love you, you should leave him."

It was devastating, and made me feel like fixing it was hopeless. Worse, it made me feel like I should be ashamed for still loving him.

Almost a year later, we're finally making real progress. I've started wearing my wedding ring again. We're planning a future--slowly, because we know we've still got rebuilding to do. And I don't regret a second of it. Still, I want to help people who have been in this kind of pain.

Today I posted another article--which is the second of four I intend to write--about the months after finding out about an affair and what to expect. You can find it here:

They Cheated--Now What?

I'm also going to write "You Cheated--Now What?" as a guide for the person who cheated and what they can do to help the healing process along, and finally, a last article called "After the Affair: What Recovery Looks Like" to talk about what it feels like for me and my husband now, after we've had a chance to cope and take a step back from everything and really start moving forward.

If anyone's interested in reading the other articles, let me know. I'll be sharing them here as I finish them. If anyone's been through this, PLEASE let me know if there's anything I should add or change! Feedback on every aspect of these articles--mechanics, prose style, subject matter, content, organization, etc.--would mean the world to me, since these articles are really important to me personally.

It feels good to be publicly opening up about this. I kept it to myself for so long, first out of shame and then out of fear of disappointing people. It just...feels nice.

Sorry, Mibba, if you've become disillusioned with my marriage. Despite everything, I still think it's a beautiful one.