I'm Never...

I'm never the first when it comes to anything. Maybe it's just a feeling, my heart trying to fool me make me feel worthless and shitty.

My mom said it's a middle child syndrome. A complex commonly seen within a second born. I don't know if there's any truth to that. Maybe there is. Maybe there isn't.

Having an almost perfect older sister isn't easy. Growing up trying to move away from her shadow was hard. Everything I did, she did better.

I started writing, hoping that I could call it my thing. But she became an English teacher and taught kids how to be writers.

I picked a field so different from hers just so that I can finally run away from people saying "just like your sister." But then I'm the one who end up being miserable because this isn't my true passion.

This blog is so negative-ridden I feel bad about it. So I apologize.

I just went for an interview which I think I just ruined my chance of even getting short-listed for the second interview.

But she always aced everything. All interviews she'd been to, she succeeded. And I keep failing. And failing... a disgrace. Never as good. Never even good enough.

xxLina