Sexism Within the Family

My mother is the most debilitating person in my life. She hates to do things for herself. I do not share this sentiment with her: I guess I take more after my dad. My big problem lately, though, is that she is constantly forcing the concept of gender roles on me. I have a few examples from the past couple of days.

So, yesterday, Dad had to leave town for work and didn't have time to put new tires on the car he left with us. My brother left early for work and my fiancé had school, so it was just my mother and me. We had to leave at 12:30 to babysit my grandma (long story) but she was worried about how bald the tires were. Around 10am, I suggested I take it to the tire place, to which my mom replied angrily, "Make your fiancé do it when he gets home. He's the man." But I know that he's always exhausted when he comes home and getting tires will only take an hour, tops. Long story short, our car still doesn't have new tires.

Then, today, my brother asked if I wanted to come help him at work (installing hardwood floors) and I was asking him what he'd be doing when Mom cut me off saying, "She's NOT going to work with you." Even though just last week I was talking about how much fun I had the time I helped Dad rack a floor last year and how bored I've been since I graduated and have nothing to do until I take my certification exam.

It doesn't bother me to let my fiancé do things for me, but I don't think I should feel like I have to wait around for him to do things I can do myself. And I don't think I should be made to feel by my own mother (my dad and brother are never timid about asking me to do "manly" things like take care of the car) like I can't/shouldn't do things meant for men. I'm not sure if sexism is the correct term, but I couldn't think of a more appropriate one.

Sorry for the semi-rant, but I can't say anything to her without her freaking out and I just needed to vent. It's frustrating to me that it's my female family making me feel small and inferior.
June 1st, 2016 at 09:22pm