What Not to Do at the Club.

This blog is inspired by Riptide;'s blog, Things to avoid doing in a Vet's Office.

I work in a nightclub, so I see all sorts of shit. Here's a list of things to do in order to not been seen as a fool by the bar tenders/bar workers. It'll make everyone's life easier if you follow these simple tips!

PROTIP #1:
Don't ask what kind of beers we have. You can clearly see what beers we have in the fridges. We aren't beer bandits, we don't have a secret cave filled with other beers. That's all we got fam.

PROTIP #2
Yes, That's a fake number we gave you. We want nothing to do with you outside of work, unless we add you on Facebook right there and then.

PROTIP #3
Hanging around the bar staring at us is not going to magically materialize you a drink or service of any sort. It's loud, there is hundreds of people, You need to signal if you want something or we will think you're just being a creeper at the bar. It happens a lot more than you'd think.

PROTIP #4
We only serve shots at the bar for a reason. Do not take it out onto the dance floor. Down it at the bar and leave it on the bar. Don't try to 'help' by putting it in the empties tray. You just legit broke it and now I'm stabbed by rogue shards of glass. Pls have a heart mah homie.

PROTIP #5
When we are doing fire shots, please listen when I tell you to get back. 151 will burn your weave/eyebrows and face off. I aint playing, fire's hot baby. Also, Drink it FAST. Do not open mouth shot it, keep your mouth as closed as possible. It's still burning, If you suck in air - You'll burn your throat up.

PROTIP #6
Don't tell me when there's a spill at 2am and there's fifty million people dancing on it. It's 2am, people started Hydroplaning on the dance floor at 1am fam, where were you?

PROTIP #7
Don't ask for a stupid drink pls. Don't say, "I want this drink I had 3 years ago" only to rattle off the exact mix for a long island. Just say Long Island or order something you know. Don't say "What do you rec", because we will just give you a beer or a jagerbomb. Don't ask for less ice, because we will just put more coke in your drink and our coke is watered down. You ended up with more water. The ice was actually giving you more alcohol content that was not tainted.

PROTIP #8
Don't ask me to go look for your bro's I.D. I am not going to take the time to search thru 50 thousand sweaty and writhing bodies to look for a tiny little card on the floor. Always take advantage of a coat check if there is one or give our bar tenders your I.D when you get there so you don't lose it.

PROTIP #9
Don't ask us if we remember you. We don't. I'm sorry.

PROTIP #10
Don't ask the DJ for requests. He play's a set list. The only people able to request song's are the workers, owner and famous guests. Also don't enter his booth without his permission. His equipment costs more than your university education and you're about to spill vodka cranberry on it.

PROTIP #11
Don't dance on our tables, It aint hot baby. It's annoying. Your heels leave marks on them :'(

PROTIP #12
Use a straw if you're wearing lipstick. I have to clean that off and I curse all those than do not use straws with bright purple lipstick.

PROTIP #13
Don't try to start a fight with the floor manager. It won't end well for you. Also, if you're going to take drugs, do it at home, not at the club - I'll take it off you.

This has been a public service announcement. I hope y'all are helped by this. Ya follow these lil steps and you'll be the bar tenders favourite customer in the world. Always remember to tip as well. You don't have to every time, but it helps and make's us smile. Tip the porters too, we work hard to make sure you don't get hurt, sick and have a fun night.
July 23rd, 2016 at 08:43am