so I guess I'll start with Monday? That was my birthday, which I spent mostly on the beach and riding a ferry. I took a lot of pictures, but haven't edited most of them yet.
There was some drama: apparently my mom unblocked my dad's number, and he texted her...to ask how old I am. He cares so much. I am touched.
That's sarcasm.
He texted her for like three hours with a bunch of bullshit. He has a new family now, and had the audacity to invite me to his wedding in Vegas. Not only that; he decided to suggest that I attend my brother's birthday.
This is especially funny, considering I didn't even know I had a fucking brother. I'm still weirded out. I guess I have two brothers that I'll never see, one step-brother and one half-brother. I don't even know the new one's name, and my dad wasn't even being nice about it. He was being petty. I always knew he was looking to replace me as a kid, but this hurts. If I was never good enough, why are they?
He fucked me up; he's the reason for so many of my self-esteem and mental health issues. He doesn't deserve a new life. He makes me so fucking angry. I can't even put it into words. He just evokes this rage that I don't feel about anyone or anything else. Just talking about him is like reopening a wound that's been opened and partially healed a billion times.
Enough about that.
Tuesday, I drove around and took pictures. Picked up shells and cool shit on the beach. I was still smarting, but I was determined to have a good time. So I did.
Wednesday, I, uh, got a date. Ish. I mean, the group is supposed to go bowling on Sunday, but if no one else were to show up, well...it's not like that'd be...bad or anything. I'd intended to make this blog mostly about this person, but I'm having trouble now. I'm really bad at this actually.
They're just really great and cool and as cliche as it is, I've never felt this way about anyone before. It's weird. I get to see them tomorrow after a week, though! It's exciting.
