Catfishes on Mibba? + Part 3

Hey everyone! If you have no idea what I'm talking about, please read the previous two blog entries. Thank you so much for reading! How are all of you?

So back to this story.

Fred I guess knew that I wasn't a very pushy person. I didn't wanna lose the friendship. I was just one of those people that would rather not say anything, you know? But something did end up happening. Fred and I had a mutual friend that we'd met on Mibba. I met her through him and she and I became good friends. Let's call her Hope. I always had a feeling Hope had strong feelings for Fred (I almost typed up his real name oooops). Just the way she would talk about him. But he wasn't interested in her that way. Why? I do not know because the girl is gorgeous inside and out. I would speak to her every day as well, but she and I weren't as close as Fred and I.

She told me she sometimes felt as if Fred valued my friendship with him more than his friendship with her. But I knew that if Fred didn't want to talk to her, he wouldn't. She was a lot of fun as well. Anyway, one day I was speaking with her. She told me about all the pictures he'd sent her, about one when he'd gotten out of the shower in particular. That upset me because he would always tell me that I was his best friend, that I was the one he could be real with.

So I confronted him about it. He got really upset and said he hadn't sent her pics in a long time. I told him it's really messed up that he could send a girl so many pictures of himself, but can't show his best friend his face. I didn't care to see him shirtless or fresh out the shower. I wanted to see his face, his smile. Hope and I ended up getting into a fight when I asked if she liked him. I honestly can't say how it even started. I just know it had to do with Fred. It got really bad, we both said bad things, and we ended the friendship. Later on Fred told me he wanted nothing to do with her and said a few things about her, without getting into detail.

This is random but important: Fred -on more than one occasion- told me he wished he was a lesbian. I know this is random, but I just figured it was because he watched a lot of...intense anime. But it was just stuff he'd randomly say when I'd talk about a new dress I bought or something like that. I also asked him if he was bi. He said he wasn't, claimed to only like girls. NOW, THIS BECOMES IMPORTANT, OKAY?

Around the end of 2014 he started dating that girl that had a name pronounced the same as mine, but with a different spelling. I didn't like her because she put him through so much before actually dating him. She had a boyfriend, she lead him on, she then acted like she didn't want him. Then they did stuff. (Like I said, he told me everything) And finally they started dating. Not gonna lie, I guess I had some kind of feelings for him, but I knew it would never happen. I was very insecure and he looked like a model. Plus, I felt he was too good for me. That and also other reasons.

I ended up getting into my first (and so far only) relationship, it turned out to be the worst thing to ever happen to me. It was an abusive relationship but I'll get into that another day. I wasn't allowed to talk to any guys, sometimes not even girls. But especially the guys. My ex hated Fred, even though he'd never done anything bad to him. But that's probably because I told him I once had feelings for him. He knew we were just friends, he knew we'd been through a lot together. I went three months without being able to talk to Fred, and I cried and suffered through it all.

But finally I put my foot down and told that douche that I didn't care, I wasn't going to leave my best friend behind over some guy. He didn't like that and proceeded to tell me a disturbing story that had nothing to do with me or Fred. But I contacted Fred anyway. Fred was upset, which I figured. But after a while he forgave me. I told him everything and he pretty much hated my ex for what he was putting me through. I finally broke up with him even though he kept telling me that he'd kill himself if I did...yes, he was that insane.

Fred and I became close again. But one day I got real. I was sick of waiting for a picture, so I straight up told him I had to talk to him. I'm sure he saw it coming. But he never saw me be so straight up. I told him I noticed him ignore me whenever I'd ask, and I was sick of it. That if he was a real friend, then he'd be real with me. I wanted to see what he looked like and didn't care about weight. Dang, I'm not model myself. So he finally said to me, "Do you really wanna see the real me?" I said yes, and then I received a picture.

To me, he looked a little bit female. His facial features, I mean. But I didn't say that because what if he would've gotten offended? He then told me that the only thing he lied about was his looks. He showed me the true spelling of his name, but he said it's the same name, I just spell it different. Then he told me he was really 23, which was way off. I cried a lot to be honest. But I decided to try to make the friendship work. He told me he was really insecure. I told him he knew how I was and if he was real with me from the start, we would've been even closer, if that was even possible.

He apologized and I told him we should just leave it behind us. So I'd ask him for his instagram and he still wouldn't give it to me. He said that the thing with his ex was all real. I don't remember if I mentioned they ended up breaking up. But pretty much they were living together and she ended up going back to her ex. But this is just what I was told.

Months went by, and early this year, 2016, we were having a conversation. It was a normal one, you know? I had sent him a picture of a 'The Land Before Time' shirt my friend had bought me. He then said, "Is that really you?" I said, "Yes lol" and then he said, "Not to be a pervert, but your boobs are huge!" and then he put heart eyes or whatever. I tried to brush it off, because comments like that do make me uncomfortable. It wasn't a revealing shirt. It was a normal t-shirt, just slightly fitted. Then we got onto a conversation about boobs.

I said they're annoying, he said, "Girl, I know". And then I was like, "Wait, what do you mean? How do you know?" I don't remember much after that, I just remember saying, "Wait, Fred, are you a girl?" I struggled with sending this message. Because if he wasn't, I didn't want to offend him, you know? The little space on my phone said he was typing for a good three minutes, then I finally got a short message saying, "Duh! I told you this!"

Now I thought he was just messing with me. But then he told me, "I told you this back when I sent you the picture. I told you I was a girl."

HELL NO, YOU DIDN'T. DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK I WOULD FORGET HIM TELLING ME HE'S A FEMALE? "OH, MY NAME IS SPELLED THIS WAY AND I'M A GIRL". NO, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME.

And I said, "No! Are you lying? You've never mentioned being a girl. Ever. You told me the proper spelling of your name and sent me a picture." So now this is where it gets confusing because he becomes a she. So I was like, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! YOU'RE A GIRL?!" And this person tells me, "Yes! I told you I was a girl! And I told you my name was Mary!" -Now this isn't the real name, it's just pretty dang close so let's call her Mary-.

And I'm like, "Fred, I mean, whatever your name is, do you think I'd forget you telling me that you're a female named Mary?" And she thought it was hilarious. Now I was like, "So you're telling me you're a female with boobs?" And she's like, "Yes! Wanna see?" And I politely declined. I know what boobs like like.

For some odd reason I still wanted to keep the friendship alive. So I still sometimes called her Fred. I mean, it was a big leap, okay? All of a sudden Fred is a female named Mary. I felt stupid, I felt deceived. I'd been lied to for years. If she even had told me she was a girl all that time ago, she would've corrected me when I addressed her as "him, he" and other dude whatever the hecks. And now she was talking about wearing dresses, about BOYS. YES, ABOUT BOYS. FRED NEVER SPOKE ABOUT BOYS. FRED SPOKE ABOUT GIRLS AND ANIME CHARACTERS. BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN THIS MARY CHICK WAS TALKING ABOUT CUTE BOYS. WHAT THE HECK, MAN.

I'm still kinda mad. Not gonna lie.

So then what happened was she started sending me pictures of herself. GIRLY AS HECK PICTURES OF HERSELF. And pictures with dudes. And I was honestly so freaking confused. But then it's her birthday and she tells me she's turning 22.

Yes.

So the lies hadn't stopped. I had her on Snapchat and I heard her voice. LISTEN, I DON'T HAVE A VERY CUTE GIRLY VOICE. HER VOICE IS STRAIGHT UP GIRLY AS HECK, OKAY? I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EARS.

I asked her if she was a lesbian. To which she proceeded to act as if it was the funniest question in the world. And then she says, "I'M BI! OMG!" Okay...Listen, Fred NEVER mentioned guys. And now this trick is telling me she was dating guys all along. So I realized everything...everything was a lie.

So yeah, I ended up ignoring her for a few months. And then I finally messaged her. She'd given me her instagram and I know what she now looks like. The picture she'd sent me WAS her, she was just dressed like a guy. And, well, I couldn't stay in a friendship where I felt I didn't believe anything. Because it had gotten to a point where I didn't believe a word of anything she said. I mean, she'd made up family members, she'd lied about not having certain family members. I felt so...gosh I can't even find the word. I'm still hurt over it. And I WISH Fred was real, but he wasn't. He was made up and a girl used the character as a mask. Why? I do not know. I don't think I'll ever understand. So I finally messaged her telling her the friendship was over. I was polite about it, and I told her she needed to get help.

It's not normal, despite what others tell you. Dang, I know what it's like to want to look like someone else. But to take it that far? MAN I'VE HATED MYSELF BUT I'VE NEVER TAKEN SOMEONE'S PICTURE AND ACTED LIKE IT'S ME. And she carried this on for years.

Hope and I reconnected a few weeks ago. I reached out, apologized and we spoke about the situations. She said she was so hurt by it all. I mean, she'd gotten to a point where she was in love with Fred.

Please be careful who you trust. I NEVER imagined something like this could happen to me, but it did. And it hurts.