Late Night Rambles and Thoughts. Somewhat Update.

It's like almost 10:30 and I'm currently half naked sprawled on my bed trying to force inspiration to come. As always it starts with a song, this song to be exact.

I don't know, I just find something hauntingly beautiful about. Like a gorgeous tragedy ready to happen.

Which is kinda ironic since I feel that way about a certain person I'm fucking seeing.

Okay, we're just screwing, but I did have a crush on him about 2-3 years back I'm hoping it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.

He's an intriguing soul, after each sweaty session I learn more about him, bits and pieces--but still. An inch deeper into his mind and soul. And I'm just yearning and craving him to learn more.

But I'm not ready for anything remotely resembling a relationship just yet.

Then again, I sometimes don't know and wish for that sort of connection with someone.

But,then I go back to loving being independent and doing as I please.

I'm such a mess, I don't know what to do with myself.

I just hope I don't fall too deep into this, and into him. I can't deal with the crash and burn of another crush.

Will not
Cannot
Ain't gon' do it

So, as I'm stewing in the mess of....well me, I will continue to search for that inspiration to write that beautiful tragedy.

Night lovelies.
August 18th, 2016 at 04:37am