It's like almost 10:30 and I'm currently half naked sprawled on my bed trying to force inspiration to come. As always it starts with a song, this song to be exact.
I don't know, I just find something hauntingly beautiful about. Like a gorgeous tragedy ready to happen.
Which is kinda ironic since I feel that way about a certain person I'm fucking seeing.
Okay, we're just screwing, but I did have a crush on him about 2-3 years back I'm hoping it doesn't come back to bite me in the ass.
He's an intriguing soul, after each sweaty session I learn more about him, bits and pieces--but still. An inch deeper into his mind and soul. And I'm just yearning and craving him to learn more.
But I'm not ready for anything remotely resembling a relationship just yet.
Then again, I sometimes don't know and wish for that sort of connection with someone.
But,then I go back to loving being independent and doing as I please.
I'm such a mess, I don't know what to do with myself.
I just hope I don't fall too deep into this, and into him. I can't deal with the crash and burn of another crush.
Will not
Cannot
Ain't gon' do it
So, as I'm stewing in the mess of....well me, I will continue to search for that inspiration to write that beautiful tragedy.
Night lovelies.