Why People Call Me a "Crazy Abstinent Person."

I'm going to put a blanket warning out here. Whether I need it, I will leave you to decide. I'm basically talking about sexual attraction / sex.

I've spoken out about this a lot, and it bothers me that I still have to tell people this but then they don't believe me.

I've been called a crazy abstinent people by too many people.

I'm ace.

Yes, I'm a 'dreaded asexual.'

In all seriousness, I've been called both a crazy abstinent person, and a dreaded asexual. All for the reason that I don't have any sort of sexual attraction to people.

Like, none.

I tell people with whom I'm very comfortable that I'm asexual, and then they turn around and they call me just a freak abstinent.

I try to tell them that for me to feel sexual attraction... it rarely happens. One in 7.5 billion times, maybe. But on the off chance someone wants to have sex with me, I just don't feel any sort of stimulation. It's all wasted.

I get that it's weird, not having sexual attraction. All of my friends love to have sex, can feel sexual attraction.

Yet... I can't. I have been in the situation plenty of times, where Person 2 wants to have sex with me, and I'm over here like, There's nothing here for me and I can't even force myself to pretend to enjoy the situation.

People have asked me, "Well how do you know you don't like sex / can't feel sexual attraction?"

How about the times that I've been in that situation and can say that I don't like sex, can't feel sexual attraction? Does that not mean anything?

People have also said to me, "Well, you're probably scared of sex."

Sex is just unpleasant for me. I don't like the way it feels, I don't like anything about it. I'm not scared of it. It just does nothing for me.

I've been called a prude, a bitch, a tease. You name it. I've even had people tell me I'm a sex-shamer, that I go out of my way to shame those who like to have sex.

I don't think that sex is a bad thing, and I don't shame people who like to have sex. That's what people don't seem to grasp. Just because I don't like it personally, does not mean that I would ever shame you or tell you that having sex is wrong. Sex, from a scientific standpoint, is fucking fantastic. It does so much for the body. I don't like sex, but that doesn't mean that it's a bad thing / morally unsound think to do. I get worried when people tell me that by not liking sex, I'm shaming everyone else that does like to have sex, because I'm not.

And that's not even a reason why I tell people I'm ace! I tell people I'm ace because I trust that they will be level-headed and not try to change me or make me out to be a bad guy.

Sometimes, I feel cursed. I feel like people don't want to be with someone who is ace. I feel so alone and like the outcast. I rarely can find someone (out in the dating world) who understands and respects the fact that I'm asexual. I've had my fair share of dates who went on to try and force me to like sex, or told me that they could make me not asexual. People have also told me that if we were to have sex (sometimes I'm not even comfortable following through), that it would be the best I've ever had and that I would rethink being ace.

I don't know anymore. I'm exhausted about trying to be heard by people who won't listen.

But I would like to hear what you guys have to say, because I'm always open for discussion about my being ace and asexuality in general.

~ Felix Helmsworth