September 2 - My Childhood

There isn't much good in my childhood.

I won't go into details or real stories because there is no one of this site I trust. I'm not embarrassed by any means about my childhood but there are people out there who criticize and embarrassment me for things that I had no control over. I can't remember half of my childhood, only some parts, most bad, some okay because I disassociated during all of it or the disassociation I did caused me to forget, I don't know.

I do remember however, my grandpa Glenn, I called him pappou and he loved me so much. Because my mom was a young mother, we lived with him and my nana (my mom's mom) in a little apartment then later moved to a larger house, a nice house with a fire place and a decorative cut out in the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room. When I was one, someone video recorded my birthday and when it came time for cake and people to sing "Happy Birthday" my pappou brought out the cake and was the loudest singer and afterwards, when my mom gave me a piece to mess with, he sung 'You Are So Beautiful' by Joe Crocker and in the video, I was smiling so wide.

That was the song he would sing to me all the time and now I can't hear it without crying. Sometimes I feel like he wouldn't be proud of me for who I am today and what I've done with my life and how I got here. I wish he was alive to tell me and give me a hug, but you can't change the past.