Too Much Feedback?

I feel so stupid already for writing this, but I feel a lot... more comfortable here? It's comforting knowing this is a smaller, more intimate community and I'm generally a floating unknown. And that there isn't thousands of people staring me down.
And even if I complain about stupid things, well, no one cares, ahaha.

Now- onto why this is stupid. As writers on this writing site, it's no surprise that we love feedback. Feedback is what a lot of people are constantly striving for- I've seen a lot of people blog about how they're not getting enough feedback, sometime or another.

This constant striving for feedback is nothing new.

But I seem to now be on the other side of it. Which is weird. Because I've always been on the regular side.

Now- I don't want to sound ungrateful. I think it's absolutely amazing that my stories are reaching so many people. And I love reading comments when people say I brighten their day or they're excited when I update! That's really awesome! Knowing that people all over the world are reading my little stories is so awesome!

It's something I always wanted, honestly.

But oh my, does it ever give me so much anxiety.

It's been harder and harder to keep a nice balance of online time and life time. Especially with my travelling so much lately, school starting back up, interviewing for jobs, etc. And so lately, especially on weekends, I'll leave for a couple of days, and then log back in and see thousands and thousands of notifications and it's like


and then I don't even want to go through them because it's just so much. And then they pile up.

And I try sometimes, reply to comments and people who message me, but sometimes it just gets super overwhelming. I'm kind of looking back with nostalgia on the times where my readership was a lot smaller. Even on Mibba- logging in to 30+ comments was exciting and intimate and I had a closer relationship to a lot of my readers! And it was very managable.

Not saying I don't love all my readers for taking the time to read my stories. I think it's awesome! And I appreciate all of them! But especially when people start demanding updates or message me multiple times because I don't reply and can get kind of snarky, like I'm denying them something, it gets a little overwhelming.

I don't know, I feel so bratty even writing this. I just have a lot of anxiety about it? I don't even know what I'm going to do if my account gets even bigger because I'm barely hanging on as it is, ahahaha. I'm just not cut out for it, I guess?

I don't know. Does anyone get how I feel?
September 21st, 2016 at 08:45pm