Oh Boy

Back to the guy Jason, from earlier this week.

We had sex. Honestly, I was really pumped for it. It's been 7 months! But it did not feel good at all. Sure, when he went down on me it was pretty nice, but even that wasn't entirely stimulating. My southern entrance seemed to be feeling it somehow, but it hurt. Is that normal for not doing it for 7 months?

To make matters a little more odd, I never orgasmed with my ex. Not one guy has managed to give me an orgasm. I was close with my ex, but it never happened, which is REALLY disappointing.

Anyway, Jason went down on my probably five or six times, to try and help it along, but nope, nothing. I think part of it was the fact that he was just ready to fuck and not entirely interested in taking it slow to start off so I don't think I was given enough time to really get comfortable. After going down on my and rubbing me quite a bit he kind of just gave up, which is understandable and I let him finish. No big deal.

After we fixed ourselves, he was pretty shocked that I didn't orgasm and couldn't quite comprehend why and I told him we should try it again. Maybe the southern hemisphere just needs some warming up and he said he was down.

Later he messaged me saying he thinks we might hook up pretty often, which sounded really nice to me because I really want to enjoy sex.

So yesterday, I went to the tattoo shop to hang out and wait for Jayme, my friend, to finish work. Jason and Jayme are friends before I even knew them, you know, normal stuff. Anyway, they sit on the couch together and she's drawing over his leg tattoos with a sharpie, normal shit that anyone would do, and I was starting to feel kind of jealous. In my mind, I'm thinking "Fuck, I have no business feeling this way, we just had sex, whatever."

Then Jayme messages me while they were sitting saying, "He's touching my vagina". Mentally it's "Ah, fuck. That jealous thing is coming back. Go away please, you aren't needed in this situation, we're all just friends. No fucking big deal. Get over it." But the feeling was so strong! So I texted her back "RIP" cause she had to pee too. I knew it was feeling good because he did the same damn thing to me the day before, which is kiiind of awkward and Jayme was feeling awkward too because Jason and I literally just fucked.

We talked about him before too, how we're both attracted to him, because he is an attractive dude and he's funny.

I think I'm just upset because I just exited a relationship where I felt my needs weren't met and in a way, I'm pining for those needs to be fulfilled and just disappointed that Jason couldn't fulfill them. Not that it's his obligation. I just had expectations that I really shouldn't have put on him.

Is it normal to feel awkward and a little jealous?
September 30th, 2016 at 07:44pm