Today was my Intro to Psychology class and we had to turn in our FLAWLESS essay.
Because I’m such a genius (not the sarcasm), I waited until the last minute to write my essay and stayed up until 2:30 am because while I was writing it, I was distracted by my ex. But yeah, I didn’t go to sleep until late and then I had my alarm set for 6:40 am and didn’t get out of bed until 7:40. Class was at 9, so I had a bit of time.
I successfully finished my essay with 4 and 1/16th pages, so I’m proud of that, although it was only edited by word document.
I’m at the office now and I am soooo tired. I’m ready to pass out, but I’m reception today, so that’s not an option, although the phone ringing would be a good alarm. I gave my extra k-cup to a classmate because she was about to pass out, and I already had 2 cups of coffee that morning. I feel like I need someone to talk to, to stay awake.
I woke up wishing I could go back to sleep, because the first thought that came to mind was the reminder from my ex that our sexual interactions have no feelings attached.
Did I want them to? Hell yes!
Especially because it’s him. We dated years ago and I’ve always wanted to get back together with him, especially because I changed myself into a better and happier me.
When we talked the other day, he kind of shared a bit of information from his past relationship and he bought an $8,000 ring for her, but she turned him down. Clearly he is so very over me and I realized that us talking now will help me get over my past feelings for him, which is good, especially knowing that he wants nothing (relationship-wise) from me. I don’t even think he wants friendship with me, I think it’s more of him enjoying the sight of my body, which would totally be nice if he was a love interest.
I just can’t do the casual, emotionless relationships anymore. Casual sex or hookups are not for me; neither is heartless flirting. I don’t want any more relationships that are just a means to an end.
And talking to him was a little off-putting because he was so strongly opinionated and so judgmental
in his opinions. Apparently leasing a car is “one of the dumbest ideas in the world” and you have to be “a fucking idiot” to go along with something like that.
Why? Why the crassness? Why does it make someone an idiot for leasing a car? Who cares if it doesn’t make sense in the long run; if it works, it works. And he went on and on about how you’re no one your first 4 or 5 years in the military and you have no life. Then why join if it’s so miserable?? I just don’t understand why things have to be so strongly negative or “idiotic” as he puts it. Augh.
I need guy friends that “act right”, as my housemate always says, and are positive and creative! That would be a blessing. Sigh…
I think I’ll slowly stop talking to him.
My recent ex and I hardly even talk now. I told him that he’s selfish when it comes to sex and our conversations are dry and often one-sided (me providing all the topics), and he said “well I can’t really help it, since I work at a grocery store”. That’s fine, whatever. If you don’t feel up to putting thought and energy into our friendship, then I’m not even going to bother.
I swear, it’s been like that with quite a few men in my life (including my father) where I’m always the one putting forth the effort and picking up the other’s slack.
I was making my ex a blanket for Christmas, but I don’t even talk anymore and I kind of don’t want to give it to him. I rather give it to my grandmother. Would that be too awkward???
Not registered?
Create an account