Dear, Fifteen Year Old Me.

It is kind of surreal to look back several years and see the things I used to write about, the thoughts I had, the concerns, fears and complaints. I haven't logged into this since I was 15 years old and here I am four days shy of turning twenty two, this is almost like a 'dear future me' situation.

The craziest part is reading back through all the things that worried, scared and bothered me and realising that, at that time they were my biggest concerns I though I would possibly ever face and now they are barely a blip in memory. It's almost like a lifetime ago.

There's this massive ravine between then and now and I can't comprehend how I thought things would never change; I was doomed to be stuck in the same rut. Seven years later several jobs, a tattoo apprenticeship and two studios, my own full time position tattooing as well working for the goverment, four failed relationships, an across country move, a house of my own and several months spent overseas and a so many new friends and I read back and remember thinking at that time that I was in my darkest possible place and that nothing would change for me.

I'm no longer resentful or angry, I love a lot more and hate every little. I'm more patient, forgiving and humbled by things than I ever was at fifteen. My relationships are better with my siblings, I'm no longer resentful of my Dad nor am I jealous. I love a lot more and appreciate things.

I wish fifteen year old me could see twenty two year old me is doing. Maybe I'll leave this here and come back in another seven years and see how things have changed, I'll be 29 by then.

- Amba