All the Times My Dog Almost Died

When he tried to swallow a needle and thread.

When he didn't know how to chew a chicken bone and put it in his mouth long ways.

When I was organizing my bookshelf and a book fell on his head. (He was actually concussed but he was okay within a couple of days.)

When I was bringing in groceries and the front door was open and he ran outside and tried to go to the park. He almost got hit by a car as he was running across the street.

The million times I stepped back and stepped on his tiny baby toes within the first month he lived with me. (And then I got a cat-bell to put on his collar so I could hear when he was around.)

When I was giving him a bath and he attempted to jump out of the slippery tub but he just smacked into the side of the tub and slid back in.

When we were driving that one time and he had his head out the back window and I made a sharp turn (and he flew out the fucking window!).

When I put him on the bookshelf and he tried to jump down on his own.

When I was taking him for a walk and this gang of three angry shih tzus almost tore his ass up.

When he moved his poo from the wee-wee pad to my bed and I almost killed him myself.