So lately I've been feeling a little down. I haven't been able to make any new friends at all, I honestly am the worst at meeting new people because I have social anxiety and it kind of forbids me to go out and actually meet people. I'm more open meeting people over the internet actually, but at least it's something, it's better than nothing. Honestly it's gotten to the point where I started to feel very lonely, and I usually feel alright being alone but when you go through what I've been through with some of my ex friends, than you'd understand why being lonely started getting to me.
Basically I had a best friend, and her and I have been through some serious hell together, we've walked the streets of hell trying to escape that's how much we've been through, seriously. I've known her for almost 4 years. I met her online! We met online when I was living in Pennsylvania, and she lived in Florida (which is where I live now, and where I'm from). I was in Pennsylvania living with my grandmother and her and I met through a mutual friend when she was dealing with boy problems and I helped her get over him with a quickness. Our friendship pretty much blossomed over night, we became instant friends. About a month later I moved back to Florida, come to find out we live within 15 minutes from one another. So we met in person on her 17th birthday and since than we were inseparable.
fast forward 4 years later. She changed, bad. In the worst way possible. She is now one of the worst mistakes I have ever made and I never say that about any friend I've had, whilst some were definitely learning experiences, they were all good in their own way, but not this one. She has made my life a complete living nightmare. She uses me, lies to me. I don't think she's ever been honest with me in the 4 years I've known her, ever. She may have helped me when I needed her a handful of times but even than I'd have to beg her. I've done everything in the world for her, for her to stab me in the back, and use me, ditch me and betray me. I of course forgave her all the time because since she was my only friend really, I didn't want to lose what we had. But the more time that went on, the more I realized that she just didn't care about me or my feelings anymore. Now she makes plans with me that she knows won't ever happen and than ignores me for days because she doesn't want to hear me bitch about how she screwed me over. She loves drama, and I'm sick of it. I finally cut ties with her today, because I can't do it anymore. I really want to make some new friends because of course I'm heart broken, I love her dearly and always will, but for now I can't deal with her and the pain she's always causing me, she replaced me and I'm ready to move on and find friends who care and will be there for me when I need them, online or in person, it doesn't matter.
Sorry to vent like this, when I blog it's usually very serious topics that people wouldn't normally write for the whole world to see, but when I write blogs I tell my life how it is, so people can give me their advice and help. I truly appreciate it as well, so thank you. Feel free to say hi, because I could really use a friend right now. xoxo
- Until next time,
Bri.
Layout credit: Isadora Pierce.
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