This a rare moment where I actually have nothing to work on for the night. So I'll probably be dicking around here and tumblr commenting and stuff.
This is kind of a continuation/follow up to this blog.
I feel like I give Larson a lot of shit. Yet it just doesn't phase him or he just laughs it off. Which actually may be one (of the very many) things I like about him. I'm a sloppy drunk texter and he's all just cool about it and doesn't care and asked to see me yesterday which I made him come to me and he doesn't even have a car anymore (he got in a car crash the week of VDay) and just...ugh. I just like him so much. And it feels so right being around him. Like, yeah, there's a strong sexual attraction there but if were like forced to stop it...I would totally be fine being his friend. Just hanging out and being around him is so fun. Like I genuinely think of him as a good friend. Which is a lot for me cause I usually don't call guys my friends lol.
With that, he did fill in the dots of when I got drunk off Everclear. He basically said that he said we shouldn't get super close to each other because he's graduating. Which is like his defense for everything. It's a valid defense, but still a defense nonetheless. But when he said that I kinda went
I said you're right to that? Which he laughed about but I brought up how even if he's pushing for us to not be super close, we're still really close.
And we've only been messing around with each other and we probably will do so (in his words, we've been doing it for so long, why stop now with only a few weeks left?) until the point of his graduation. Which I then added how he's probably gonna act like he doesn't know me. Which he combatted by agreeing that we're close and how he's not gonna ghost on me when he graduates.
He's just like #ADULTING and being so worried about getting a job and doing the next thing after college. Which I get. I totally get it. Okay.
It just soooo feels like the right person, wrong time situation. Which sucks cause I feel myself getting more and more attracted to him and...y'all...it's already very high. I've never been attracted to ANYONE in my life the way I'm attracted to him. And it's probably because I'm just like "this is who the fuck I am" and he's like "okay...cool. I like this. This is who I am." and just...ugh.
I'm just gonna call it. I think I'm in love with him. Which is so fucking complicated cause right before he left I literally was about to open the door but instead turned around and was like "You think I like you more than you like me."
And he said how he's never been in a serious relationship and I just said how I only had 1 serious relationship but, as we all know, it was trash and he cheated on me 5 times and Larson was like how he would never do that just ?!?!?
I feel like I'm talking all over the place lol. In short tbh, it's just a really weird situation cause we're not talking to other people, we're really attracted to each other, like the stars are fucking aligning but he just won't let them connect.
I guess now that for the most part all of my emotions are out there now (and I actually said them, soberly, to his face) we're all good. It's all out there.
How are you guys?
Bye <3