Virginity

There's been a lot of blogs about this lately, so I figured I could write about my experience with losing my virginity.

Would I take it back? No.

Was it a good experience? Also no.

Let's be honest. Virginity is something that is often blown out of proportion. It's something that our society seems to shove down our throats because we're a generally sexually conservative country. Which is kind of ironic, since so much of our media (music, movies, TV, etc.) is so full of suggestive or explicit sexual scenarios. It can be so confusing.

The way I see it, the only thing that really matters to you is how you feel about your "virginity." If you want to wait until marriage, great. If you want to wait until you meet someone and date them for X amount of time, great. If you want to sleep with X amount of people, great. If you don't want to have sex at all, great. It becomes a real issue when other people start dictating how you behave sexually. Especially in adolescence and emerging adulthood.

This is such a vulnerable time for us! We're finding out who we are and what we like and maybe starting to explore. Honestly, a big reason that there is a higher prevalence of teenage pregnancy and STDs in our country is because we are taught from a young age to almost be "afraid" of sex. There are other countries, I think one is Sweden, where they actually encourage their teenagers to explore sex (safely, of course). And you know what? They have much lower rates of STDs and pregnancy in their younger population.

I'm getting a tad off topic, but I guess what I'm really trying to get at is that you have to find what works for you. Everyone is different. The most important thing is to do what you are comfortable with. No one should ever make you feel bad for being a virgin or for not being a virgin. Do you.

On to my personal experience:

It was around Valentine's Day (not what you're thinking) in 2013. I was 19 and in my sophomore year in college. My roommate (and best friend) was away on a ski team trip, and my suitemate and friend, we'll call him Joe, invited me to go out (I lived in a gender neutral dorm, so girls and guys could live together). We went to the club/bar near campus and I was probably the most drunk I had ever been (at that point). This guy started dancing with me and kissing and blah blah blah. He ended up pulling me out of the club, walking me home, and you guessed it, taking my virginity. I don't know his last name. Never saw him again. He went to a different college. It was stupid of me, and unlike me, and could have led to and STD or pregnancy. But it didn't. I felt like absolute shit after it happened, because I had felt like my friend abandoned me. I don't think I really wanted it, honestly. So if I regret anything, it's that. But I don't regret it completely. It was shitty, but it's still a part of me.

I'm better now, and I've slept with other people since then (that I did want to). I'm much more comfortable with my sexuality, 4 years later. It's funny, because when I was younger, I thought for sure I would wait until marriage. Or that I would only do it with someone I had dated for a while. But I changed, and it didn't work out like that, and that's okay. Sometimes when we plan things like that, it just makes it harder and more stressful.

Whatever you feel comfortable with, that's okay, too.